It has been a rough night for me. I don't know if it is because we spent a couple of hours walking around the Kentucky Expo Center, climbing in and out of boats and RV's and just wandering through the exhibits or if it because I had a big old soda this afternoon in addition to my pot of coffee and the caffeine is starting to turn on me- or a combination of the two- but sleep has been elusive tonight.
I came home from the Expo Center and we took a lovely nap. Made dinner, took the dogs for a walk, watched a movie and two episodes of Accidentally On Purpose (LOVE That show- so hope they don't cancel it), took my evening Tramadol and Flexeril and went to bed around 10:30. Somewhere between 8 and 10:30 everything started tightening up. When I went to bed I found it very, very difficult to get comfortable. Back, neck, shoulders, everything was hurting. It didn't help that someone in the complex was having a party tonight and just as soon as I would settle down and start to get to sleep- someone would come or go and the cars were making little Auggie nuts so he was barking. After tossing and turning, turning and tossing- and actually feeling my fingers stiffen up inch by inch and waking up over and over- I finally gave up around 2. I knew that if I stayed in bed flopping around- Jim wouldn't get an sleep either.
Soon after I got up- the party ended and Auggie was able to settle down for the night but a gorgeous storm blew in. With the first crack of thunder and rumble of lightening I was so startled that I went to open the slider to check out what was going on- which of course brought the dogs running (because really? Who's going out or coming in at 2:30am?) but they quickly went back to the living room to snuggle back down while I watched the storm. When the storm was over- I started emptying out my DVR. What better time than in the middle of the night?
This is one of the trials of living with both Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. Here's the thing though- years ago, when I was first diagnosed-I would have been in a huge self pity mode here three hours in, now- not so much. I would have thought that my whole life was going to be this cycle of pain and lack of sleep, but now I know better. I know that- while this is not a total aberration- I will at least have an equal number of good nights as I do bad. I would have panicked that this was the beginning of a big flare but now I know that if I take the right steps, a flare is not a guarantee. I also know that being that today is Sunday- I can crawl back in bed at some point and sleep or even just rest as long as I need. In fact it is my intention to wait another half hour or so and take the puppies out for their walk, come back and take my Sunday meds (Tramadol and Folic Acid, then an hour later my shot of MTX) then wait until Jim gets up so we can work together to start the roast in the crock pot. Then I will draw a hot, hot bath, sit in there to relax my muscles a bit, throw on some really warm clothes (read:sweats) and take a small stack of magazines in to my bed and stay there as long as I can stand it. I am not really good at complete inactivity but if it means that I am feeling better tomorrow- I can do it.
My lesson this morning is that I really have grown and gotten a handle on living with these two chronic illnesses. I am facing this hurdle with a plan of action and a positive attitude rather than letting the pain make me miserable both physically and emotionally. I have realized that though I just had to use a whole fist to hold a spoon to eat my yogurt and am typing super slow this morning, it's not the end of the world- I got the job done. I am also so grateful for this lesson that the lack of sleep is worth it! Could it be a blessing in disguise? I am thinking so. Then again- I could just be delirious. ;-)