Friday, January 22, 2010

An exercise in gratitude.

Sometimes we are just not feeling grateful.  It's easy when you are having a tough time to lose sight of your blessings.  I have been having just one of those times the last week or so. It becomes apparent when I find myself aggravated and agitated throughout the day.  My mood swings up and down, back and forth like a pendulum. I would think about this blog and think "I have nothing to say." and that would just add fuel to my fire.  I felt like I was failing myself with this challenge.  Two things happened to switch my thoughts about this.

 First is my Simple Abundance Gratitude Journal.  the way I approach that little green book is that every evening, when I go up to bed, there are four things sitting on my bed waiting for me.  My Gratitude Journal, the Simple Abundance book, whatever book I am currently reading and a little bowl of gummy bears.  I climb into my bed and I open that journal and I see those 5 little lines staring in my face.  Before I move on to anything else- I make myself fill those lines with 5 things that I am grateful for today.  By doing this- I flat our force myself to think of the blessings- no matter how small- in my life.  Once that is done, I read my passage in the book and then allow myself to sit back and dive into my other reading and pick at my gummies until I am ready to sleep.  It is a relaxing way to end my day but before I can get to the relaxing part- I have to find those things that I can be thankful for.  I am determined to complete that journal this year and finding the blessings when you are not feeling them is a big part of that.

The second thing was as simple as going back and reading here.  I clicked my "edit" button and chose posts at random to read over.  What this did was remind me that I am not supposed to have all the answers.  It reminded me that this is a journey.  The purpose behind writing this blog was to open my heart and mind to all of the wonderful things in my life.  I realized that if I have to force it- my heart and mind are not open.  In this realization, I was able to let go of the guilt and appreciate that I had found so many things to write about up to this point. 

And so here I sit.  Ready to renew my dedication to finding the joys and blessings in my life.  I am ready to be grateful for each and every one of them.  I prepare for work today knowing that it will probably be a difficult day but that if I really take a deep breath and look closely- I can find those little nuggets of gold hidden through my day. 

The quote in my book last night said: 

Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels.  If we take time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for.  The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives.    -Terry Lynn Taylor
Rather appropriate that this quote comes at this time for me.  I need to see that gratitude- and then this too shall pass. 

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