Monday, April 21, 2014

Two good blogs to share this morning.

I want to share with you today a review of a book for us Rheumies by my friend Wren.  In the first line of the review Wren poses the question " If you could help someone else through the shock and dread of an unexpected rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis and its aftermath, you’d try, wouldn’t you?"  

This review made me stop and think, not just about my illnesses but about how I am approaching all aspects of my life.  The book "Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis", by Lene Anderson, is targeted toward new RA patients but from the exerpts in the review, both new and old patients could benefit from its wisdom.  

You can find Wren's review here.

On another note, if you want a daily dose of gratitude from a "real person"- my Dad has a blog called "Notes from the Sunporch".    He starts his morning in my favorite place- their sunporch- and takes great pleasure in the birds, the critters and the flowers that are in his gorgeous view from his recliner.  I hope you enjoy.  

Monday, April 14, 2014

From Zen Habits: On Making It Through Tough Journeys

I subscribe to this blog and receive great posts regularly.  This one in particular came today and it really resonated with me so I wanted to share it with you.  I have linked to the blog in the title so you can read more of Leo's writing.

Have wonderful day my friends.

On Making It Through Tough Journeys

By Leo Babauta

A reader wrote to me about a very tough journey he and his wife are setting out upon, and asked for some words of advice or motivation though this tough time.

Difficult times can be a test of our souls, and as such can be some of the most instructive times possible.

It’s easy to be happy and motivated when things are going well. But what happens when they fall apart, or unexpected troubles come your way, or things go exactly as you don’t want them to? What do you do then?

I’ll share some things I’ve been learning about personally, and give you a word of encouragement: you are stronger than you think.

You’ll go through difficult times, and suffer, and learn. And come out stronger and better at the other side.

There are four things that I’ve been learning about that help me through tough times:

1. Happiness isn’t outside of us
We often seek happiness outside of ourselves, through pleasure (food, shopping, video games, TV, Internet, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs) or other people (the person of our dreams, approval of others, social networks) or big life goals (travel, creating a business, art).

But I’ve learned that none of those things actually makes you happy. Sure, they can give you a boost of pleasure or joy, but it’s temporary and soon you’re looking for the next thing that will make you happy. This leaves you in a constant state of seeking pleasure, distraction, approval, comparisons to others, and so on. And it doesn’t result in contentment.

However, if we realize that happiness isn’t outside of us, but actually comes from within … then we can always access it. What is the source of this inner happiness? I find that I can do certain things that make me happy: being grateful for who I am and what I have, learning about myself and the world, playing and being curious, thinking about others and wishing them happiness … these things might be tied to external things (what I have, other people), but they are available no matter where I am, what I have, who is in the world.

And they can help during a tough journey. If you can find happiness inside you, then no matter what’s happening externally, you can access this source of happiness. You might lose your job, get sick, lose a loved one, have to go through a difficult medical procedure, go through a divorce … and you can still find this happiness. It’s there if you choose to use it. The external circumstances of your life matter, but they don’t take away your true source of happiness.

2. Embrace your entire range of experiences
Too often we want just a small range of experiences — the good things, the comfortable things, the experiences that make us feel good about ourselves. And yet, reality is different. It gives us a lot of different kinds of experiences, from anger and frustration to joy to pleasure to coldness to loneliness and grief. These are all part of our human condition, unavoidable.

So we can rail against the injustice of having to lose something we love, having to go through difficulty, having to be lonely and sad, having to be treated unfairly. That will just lead to more unhappiness.

Or we can embrace the entire range of our experiences. That will include all our emotions, all our joyful moments and painful ones and everything in between. Life is not just the warm and beautiful. It’s all of it.

Embracing these experiences means taking everything in with open arms, being vulnerable to whatever happens, being compassionate with ourselves when things are hard, giving ourselves some kindness and love and gratitude no matter what happens. It means accepting what is, and accepting ourselves as we are, not trying to mold ourselves into the perfect human, whatever we think that may be. Not trying to mold our lives into the perfect lives, whatever we think that may be.

This isn’t easy, I’ll admit, but this kind of openness leads to much greater happiness with life.

3. Renew your gratitude
Our lives are filled with miraculous gifts, and we are constantly taking them for granted, and complaining that life isn’t better. I do it myself, all the time. But when I catch myself doing this, and remember to be grateful, life is suddenly so much better.

Is your job boring? You might be grateful you have a job at all, a roof over your head, food on the table. Are you unappreciated? You might be grateful you have anyone in your life at all, perhaps some loved ones.

You have life. This is such an incredible gift.

You might be grateful for your health, if you have it. Or you might not have perfect health, but you have legs to walk on. If you have no legs, perhaps you have eyes to enjoy the sight of a cherry blossom or sunset. If you have no eyes, perhaps you can hear music. If you have none of these, perhaps you can still learn things from reading in Braille. Imagine being without the joy of Tolstoy and Shakespeare and Cervantes! We live in an amazing world, no matter what our circumstances.

And for anyone reading this (myself included), we need to think about how incredible it is that we have computers, and smart phones, connected to a powerful thing called the Internet. We have comfortable homes, great food, fairly good health, books to read, gorgeous nature all around us, people who love us. That’s quite miraculous, and yet we take it all for granted.

When times get tough, you might not have all of this. But you still have a lot to be grateful for.

4. Find Lovingkindness to yourself
As we work on embracing the entire range of our experiences, there will be some difficulty. It’s not always easy to allow ourselves to be sad, scared, frustrated, or grieving.

How do we live through these experiences without giving up?

We find compassion for ourselves, kindness, love.

Suffering in all kinds of ways is part of our experiences as humans. We suffer, in ways small and large, and we want to be happy. We all have that in common.

And so accepting our suffering and desire to be happy as a part of being human … we then turn to wanting our suffering to end. Wishing ourselves happiness and wellbeing.

This is kindness and compassion for our suffering selves. It’s not feeling sorry for ourselves, but wanting ourselves to be happy.

Whenever we see pain and fear in ourselves, we can recognize it, and wish ourselves happiness. Wish an end to the suffering. Be kind to ourselves.

And then, having given ourselves this kindness, we can turn to the person next to us, and recognize they are also suffering and just want to be happy. If they lash out at us in anger, recognize that they are just suffering like us. And wish them happiness, wish an end to their suffering.

In doing so, we can melt our own hardened hearts, open ourselves to others, embrace them with love. And the journey, as hard as it may be, becomes better.




Friday, April 11, 2014

Brick and Mortar Guys



This little "ditty" was written by a bookseller at one of our stores.  Every one of us who's come across it is sharing it.  It feels SO very true.

Brick and Mortar Guys
by Jason Michael Howe
Barnes & Noble Store #02814
Pembroke Pines, FL
(And apologies again for unintentionally hijacking the other thread.)
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how
those book stores used to make me smile.
And I know if I could go back,
I'd buy books there by the stack,
no matter if I had to walk a mile.
But Amazon, they made me quiver...
with every order they delivered.
Brown boxes on my doorstep,
I didn't have to take one more step...
I can't remember if I cried,
the first time I found one just outside...
I opened the box and looked inside...
the day... the book stores... died.
So bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...
online shopping has become my vice...
Were you there in their store,
reading books while lying on the floor,
when an employee asked you to move?
Did you ask to charge your phone?
Leave a pile of books in cafe and only buy a scone?
Do you ever wonder why you're alone?
Well, I know that you loved their place,
high-end boutiques now fills their space,
What other stores are left to choose?
You should be singin' the blues!
All you had to do was spend a buck,
drive to their store in your pickup truck,
but now you're out of luck.
The day the book stores died.
You started singin'
Bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...
online shopping has become my vice...
Now, for ten years we've been on our own
clicking Buy from the comfort of our home
But that's not how it used to be!
Employees sang for storytime,
an author signing didn't cost a dime,
and then they'd sit and talk with you and me.
But to kick them while they're down,
Amazon had to steal their crown,
No worries of tax evasion,
they've got bribes and other persuasion.
And while book stores closed up shop,
employees wished they could make them stop,
but now they're at Employment One Stop.
The day the book stores died.
Bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...
online shopping has become my vice...
Helter Skelter up on Capitol Hill
Congress had submitted a bill
about collecting online tax.
It's odds were better than legal grass
The bill now looked for sure to pass
With Amazon, on the sidelines, all aghast.
Now poetic justice came to mind
What legal recourse could they find?
Former employees nearly danced with joy,
but Amazon had one more ploy!
They tried to open brick and mortar stores
thinking they'd do better than those before
Do you recall the final score
The day the book stores died?
We started singin'
Bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...
online shopping has become my vice...
Oh, and there we were all in one time
A generation lost online
With no way to go back again.
C'mon Amazon, sell those books!
Amazon, you're just a crook.
Complacency is your best friend!
And as I watched on their newsfeed
Smiling faces filled with greed
No company born online
Could catch their lead this time.
And as flames spread on the forum sites
Booksellers read them on lonely nights
While Amazon laughed with delight.
The day the book stores died.
They were singin'
Bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...
online shopping has become my vice...
I met a girl who had shelved their stacks
And I asked if they'd ever come back
But she just cried and ran away
I went down to my local store
Where I'd purchased books years before
A homeless man there said they took his restroom away.
And down the streets the parents walked,
their children cried, their tweens all balked.
But not a word was spoken;
their spirits had been broken.
Now no one comes at my behest
But I shop for books without getting dressed
If I think too hard I'll get depressed
The day the book stores died.
And we're all singing...
Bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...
online shopping has become my vice...
Bye bye brick and mortar guys,
it's just not fair with next day air and a lower online price.
Having people who would help me, man it sure was nice.
But online shopping has become my vice...