Sunday, March 20, 2016

Grumbling, Grumbling

It's almost 9am and I have already done enough grumbling this morning for a week.  First I was grumbling because Auggie woke me up FAR too early (considering that we were up late watching the tube last night) and then wanted in and out, in and out.  Some would say just leave him out- but I don't want him barking and waking the neighbors at 4-5-6-7 am on a Sunday. And he knows it- so as soon as he gets ready to come in he gives a single bark.

Then it was sorting my pills for the week.  It's not a huge deal- it's just tedious and my pill week starts on Sunday so before I can take them I have to sort them- plus it's shot week (I am on Actmera every other week) so that means paying that bill and I am almost out of Prilosec and have to pick that up along with another RX today.  I don't know about you, but I am rather over buying meds and having so many that they have to be sorted and life revolving around taking them.  RA. Fibro, DDD, RLD- somehow I think that with that laundry list, the med regimen won't be lessened very soon.

Then it was paying the bills.  You know, I know- they are a fact of life.  Today was the mortgage, car insurance, cable, cell bill, electric, gas, water, trash/sewer, etc.  It's almost soul crushing.  You work hard all month long and with one 20 minute session at the PC and with the checkbook- it's gone.

Lack of sleep, tedious and dreaded tasks to start the morning and it all culminated in:


Then- I got over myself.  I literally stopped dead in the kitchen from pulling my shot out of the fridge and said out loud "Oh ENOUGH already!"  I just don't want to let this go on and grow and ruin my Sunday.

So I came back into my office and made a plan.  I am going to finish my pot of coffee.  I am going to make my meal plan for the week.  I am going to take my shower.  I am going to go to the gym and hit the treadmill.  I am going to go get my manicure done and then go to the grocery.  Then I am going to come home, get my clothes ready for the week, fold some laundry  and start gathering the stuff that I need to pack for my trip to my annual meeting a week from Tuesday.  Then practice walking in my heels again before I get back in my jammies and snuggle in for my evening of Fairy Tales (Once Upon A Time) and Zombies (The Walking Dead/Talking Dead) and try to relax before another busy week.

I have to take this opportunity of today to take the things I was grouchy about this morning and turn them to gratitude.

  I am SO thankful that I have that silly dog.  He gives me so much joy and makes me laugh so often and knows when I am not doing well and will stay by my side endlessly until I feel better that I have to "excuse" the pain-in-the-butt moments.  I also have to be thankful that I am able to get up and down and up and down to let him in an out when he's wanting to run.

I have to remind myself that I am truly grateful that we have the medications that keep me able to be productive.  As much as I hate taking my pills and shots and stuff- I know, because I wait in pain for them to kick in every single morning, that without them my quality of life would be incredibly diminished.  I have to, have to, have to take them and be thankful that not only do I have them, but I can afford them.  Without them, I would not be able to work.  Without them, there would be more days than there are that I am not able to leave my bed, much less my house.  Without them, there would be no way that I would be heading to the gym in a bit to walk on the treadmill.

Finally I have to be grateful that I CAN work and pay those bills.  As often as I say "I just want to win the lottery and retire", until that happens, those bills that I was grumbling about paying this morning will come every month.  It's just a part of life.  I am grateful to have that mortgage, and that my parents helped to make that happen. I am grateful for the cars when for so many years we didn't have one and that we can afford the insurance that goes along with it.  I am grateful for the lights, the heat, the cable that keeps me entertained and more importantly connected to my family and friends across the country.  For the cell phones that are attached to our hands 24/7 and all of the other things I was paying the bills out for this morning as well as the silly things we don't NEED but spend our money on each week.

So that's that.  Change the perspective, change the direction of the day- and tomorrow wake up on the RIGHT side of the day.  :-)  

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Pajama Day or Spa Day? That is the question.

     Hey gang!  I have been so, so, SO busy for so long that taking today off to relax feels like playing hooky.  I am not- I promise.  I am planning on a long day Friday as I travel to another store to observe their inventory and then I am opening the store on Saturday for an Open House for prospective students so even though I took off today, I am still at about......47 hours this week.  The problem is that for the last three months I have been working so much that taking a day in the middle of the week is almost illicit.  There's been so much going on (and will continue to be until May 15th) that it's been overwhelming.  Even when I wasn't working my brain has been going in the background working on that next thing.  I almost feel like I haven't been able to breath- and today is that first full-lung breath.

     So what to do today?  First instinct is to stay in my jammies all day and binge on the DVR and just vegetate but I do have one or two errands to do that would negate that a bit.  Not rough errands- I need to drop Jim's suit off at the dry cleaner so it's ready for my sister's wedding and *maybe* run to Meijer to pick up some fruits and veggies.  Because we haven't had many meals together lately I offered to cook for Jim tonight.  He was in the mood for burgers.  Let's be honest- I make decent burgers but I cook other things much better, so I offered to run to Five Guys if I am out since that's his favorite.  Then he can have a burger, a bacon dog and REALLY good fresh fries ready when he walks in the door at 3:45 and will have time to rest before heading to Lowes for his evening shift without me banging around cleaning up the dishes and such.

     The second inclination is to do a home-spa "day".  I have a lot of things like mud masks and nail polish, bubble bath,  facial scrubs and such.  I can pick up a few more things at Meijer and spend the evening taking care of my outside.  I have music, recorded meditations, my favorite Blueberry Matcha, yoga OnDemand, candles and, of course, a puppy to snuggle to nourish my insides.  A few hours of peace sounds really, really good.

  Either way, I can take off my comfy pajamas, toss them in the laundry before I head out, transfer it when I get back and when I am done with my ministrations or just dinner, put on warm pajamas- there's nothing better than warm, just-out-of-the-dryer jammies.  It's like slipping on a hug and who can't use a hug?

Well- I think I am going to finish the show I am watching and then change.  Timing will be everything in making sure I get home in time for dinner with the hubby without being too early or too late.  I am so ready to win the Powerball and retire so I can enjoy days like this at my leisure!

Have a lovely, lovely day!  

Sunday, February 21, 2016

My Thunder Buddy and the Event....

Thunder Buddy (for LIFE) had a rough night tonight- and naturally shared with us. We didn't go to bed until late, just after midnight the three of us crawled into bed. Around 12:30 Auggie jumped off the bed for some water and curled up on his own bed. I really don't know what time the storm started probably because we sleep very well during storms but Auggie freaked out and managed to squeeze himself in between the wall and bed and get under the bed. Now- my bed has drawers under it so there's not room to just slide under there.  Every clap of thunder, every flash of lightening brought a bark or two. So up I got with him around 2:30 and tried to get him to come out to the living room with me so he didn't wake Jim as well but he couldn't figure out how  to get back out since technically- there's really not room. It wasn't until about 40 minutes later that Jim woke up enough to help me move the bed to get him out. He was so scared that he actually went out INTO the storm to relieve himself. Shortly thereafter- the boys both went back to sleep- Jim back to bed and Auggie curled up in the chair in my office and I have been cleaning out the DVR and sucking down copious amounts of coffee for the last 3 hours.  Gotta love being a light sleeper who can't get back to bed after being woken.  It worked well when Josh was a baby and needed to be cared for in the middle of the night.  Now that I am getting older- not so much.  

I hope you all got some sleep- and have a lovely Sunday

Monday, February 8, 2016

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

     This weekend I was reading snippets of Forever, Erma.  Erma Bombeck was a beloved humorist who passed away too soon.  I loved, loved the wit she brought to marriage, parenting, and life in general.  The book is a collection of 200 of her columns.  At the end of this book, the final chapter, is a multitude of tributes from friends, family, fans, colleagues and people whose lives she touched.  It's a lovely, lovely end to the book.  It got me thinking though.  How do I want to be remembered when I pass?

First-let it be known far and wide- I do not want a traditional funeral.  Don't mourn my passing- celebrate my life.  Don't put me on display- take my ashes and scatter them on Granny's (now Kevin's) back 40.  If you want to memorialize me- plant a tree, or two, and place a bench in what will be underneath it/them and then use it as a place to go when you want peace and quiet.  Now that we have the particulars out of the way.....

Overall, I hope that I am remembered as kind, as strong, as stubborn (because we HAVE to be honest) as honest, as loyal and as hardworking.

 I hope my family (blood and chosen) remembers me as loving and as the one who was always there for them when they needed me.

To take it a branch out  further- here's what I hope the many, many kids (most of whom are now grown up) that have worked with me and become part of my extended family remember me simply as the one who always believed in them, even when they didn't and who always has their back- even now.  

That's it.  I think that's how I want to be remembered.  Not for my illness, not for my age, but for how I (hopefully) touched people's lives.

How about you?  

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

More Changes

Great News!  The hubby started his first day of his new jobs- yes jobS yesterday!  Two days in a row last week he had interviews, one for full-time, one for part-time. The afternoon of the second interview he got the calls that both were offering him positions.  He immediately accepted- both.  I am very proud of him.  He doesn't have to take both, we are surviving on my salary (though) it's tight- but he wants to do so in order to catch up our savings as to what we spent while he was unemployed.  I don't know how long it will last- he is just past his 50th birthday after all- but I salute that he wants to try it out.

 Both are shipping/receiving so that's good.  The full-time position is at a local leather company, the part-time is at Lowes.  My only concern(?) (beyond him working himself sick) is that he will get a discount at Lowes.  Me working in and managing a bookstore is the height of temptation.  Lowes is that for him.  It could be dangerous-lol.  But hey- if he rebuilds our savings and then wants to work to buy "toys" for his man-cave- more power to him.

So- I got up yesterday and this morning and while I was making my breakfast and lunch for work, I made him a lunch  too.  He never eats breakfast and rarely eats lunch but I thought it would be a small gesture of support.  His hours, once he gets into the groove, will be 7:00am to 3:30pm and home for a bit, then 6pm to 11 or 12pm based upon the trucks coming in for the night.  I am already making my meals and it if makes it easier for him to actually eat- it's not a hardship on me.  Dinner for him Monday was pre-prepped from Sunday.  I made a lovely pork roast and veggies and we still have plenty of leftovers so all he had to do was plate and heat so he could have a real meal in between jobs.  Tonight he will eat something like Ravioli or Beefaroni that he only has to pop on the stove and heat.  I just didn't think ahead.

Another good thing about this is that it gives me an "excuse" to do an even better job of planning our meals.  Until my new Assistant Manager starts work(in a few weeks) I am working open to close on Monday, Tuesday and Thursdays so I won't be home with him in between jobs to cook so we will be forced to think ahead- because there is no way he should be working that many hours without a real meal.   This not only will make sure HE eats- but that I stay on track as well.  That can make a huge difference in my efforts to stay on plan.  There is nothing so helpful for me than being mindful.

The only one I am concerned about is Auggie.  It's been months of changes for him.  First we moved into the new house in October and my schedule was flipped because of Haunt season and traveling for work.  In November he lost his sister when we lost Miss Harley.  They had been constant companions since 2009.  Then we went out of town for a plasma draw twice so he was in a hotel room for the weekend.   Then we went on vacation for a week-not to Grandma and Papa's as usual- over Thanksgiving so he was out of his element again. December he got his "Daddy" 24/7 when Jim lost his job and I went solo once to the plasma draw. and now it's January and Jim and I will both be gone all day again.  Add to that Josh, Karyn, Jim's brother and my parents spending time here in such a short time (when only Josh and Karyn had stayed with us over the years) and he's not sure if he's coming or going.  It will be very good for him to get back to a routine because for now he's out of sorts.  I am so thankful that he's a mellow mutt because if he was high maintenance- it would be big trouble.  He's not acting out- instead he's my shadow when I am home until about 10pm and then wants to play.  He's also not coming if we call his name as if he's "pouting".  We can look right at him and he will look at us and turn away.   I am going to have to get him to play earlier so we can get to bed at a reasonable hour.  I am sure he will eventually get back to himself but in the meantime- we will have to work with him.

So that's the new changes in our lives.  Thankfully they are mostly positive and I can be grateful to get back to another new normal.  Have a great day gang! 

Monday, January 25, 2016

My World In This Moment- **Picture Heavy**

Well- *my* football season ended tonight in a close game.  That frees me from sports until April when the Sox start playing.  Tonight (it's Sunday) I thought I would share a few pictures of the house, what I am up to and- naturally- Auggie.  No major post, just things I am grateful for today.  **All pictures taken between October 1st and yesterday.  They are not in order- Blogger is being a bear about moving them to where I want them**

 The House now that it's winter, and just before the snow

Had to include the monster bed.  I feel like The Princess and the Pea when I climb in. 

The Harry Potter collection in my home office: 

Auggie- King of my world: 


Just because it's true: 

 We spend MANY hours like this: 

My latest project- Wands for my store's upcoming Harry Potter Book Night: 

 The house while we were moving in- Miss Harley loved the back yard: 




A lovely glass sculpture from my Mama that is named for the Sisters hangs over the sink: 

Taking care of myself and getting back to cooking/prepping real meals:

Naturally- still Haunting in season: 

JOSH came to visit to help us move- and then went haunting with me.  :-) 

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

The Ultimate Dinner Party

I am an unabashed Harry Potter Geek.  I have read the books over and over, went to the midnight premiere of each movie and have seen the movies every time I pass them on the television.  The cast is made up of a seemingly terrific group of well-adjusted kids and some of the luminaries of British stage and screen.  So when Alan Rickman passed away last week at the age of 69, I was truly sad.  The tributes, from all of those who had worked with him over the years were so poignant.  I found myself thinking "I would have loved to have met him."

This got me thinking about all of the people that I wish I could sit down and have a conversation with.  Yesterday being Martin Luther King Jr day, I would love to have a sit down with him and see what he thinks of the world we live in today and how much he feels we have progressed- or- regressed- in the years since his passing.  I've heard one version of this called the "Ultimate Dinner Party."  I've heard it done with just those that are still living, only those that are no longer with us, famous people, not-famous people and any combination.  I believe the guideline is 5-10 guests so you can spend time with each.

So I think I will do a bit of both in my journal.  I will do three dinner parties: only live and famous guests, only those who have passed and a "famous only to me" with a combination of both.  Once my lists are made, I will journal why I want these particular guests- and see what I learn about myself in the process.

I challenge you to do the same.  You don't need to post it- just do it.  See what you learn about you!

Have a great week.