Sunday, June 18, 2017

Father's Day Reflections




I have said it before and I will say it again.  I am so, so very blessed to have the parents that I do.  I am very aware of it and I give thanks for them often.  Being a military family is somewhat unusual.  Most will never know what it's like to pick up and move every other year, to spend year(s) away from your family on "Temporary" duty or remote assignment while supporting your family on very little money and a whole lot of ingenuity.  This, of course, was in the days before the internet, before email, before skype or cell phones.  It was the days of keeping up with the family through crackly phone calls during an allotted time because it cost so very much and snail mail.  But here's the thing:  Mom and Dad never made it seem stressful.  They always sold it as an adventure.  We never knew how much they struggled financially- the made it work.  We never knew how much strain all of the politics (and if you think the military is bad- you should see the Wive's Club!) caused.  We never knew how crazy we made them.  They handled military life and raising children with so much grace that we could all only hope to be as good of people as they are.  They have supported us girls in all of our decisions- good and bad, and after 55 years together they are still crazy about one another.  They set the bar high on how to conduct yourself in all areas of life.

So today, on this Father's day- I share them with you.  I love you Mama and Daddy.  Thank you for my sisters, thank you for being role models and thank you for teaching us to be open, loving people.


Monday, May 8, 2017

We Are Our Own Worst Enemies


I was going to title this "If it's not one thing, it's another" but that sounds more complain-y (yes, I made that up-lol) and I don't want it to sound like that. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I am sore, but there is nothing unusual about those things.  I was just looking over my calendar for the week and realized how much I burn the candle at both ends (voluntarily) and how little I take time to take care of my self.  That was made very apparent these past few months.

When Jim asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him -among several ideas-that I wanted a gift certificate for a massage.  He trekked up to the local Therapeutic Massage clinic that I like and bought me an hour.  When I opened my lock-box to put the gift certificate away, I found another gift certificate that I had received years ago that was long expired.  I contacted the clinic and they offered me half credit for it as long as I booked the appointment right away.  I went for that massage and while it was divine and I had a significant increase in range of motion,  it kicked off the "bruised" feeling of a Fibro flare due to how hard she had to work to get the knots out of my neck and shoulders.  That pain has subsided over the last two more visits but I know that it's my own fault.    I have always carried my stress in my neck and shoulders and it showed that I haven't been in for a massage in far too long.  As I lay there on the table, in the quiet, as she worked the knots on my knots on my knots out, all I could think was "You REALLY need to take better care of yourself!" When I went for the second and third appointments- we slowly got most of the heavy knots out but each visit is a reminder that I need more than just down time at home to recuperate.

Currently I work, I go home, I cook, I snuggle with the pups, do housework, repeat.  I try to cook good meals but when I am overly tired I fall back on less healthy options.  I don't make it a point to take care of myself the way I need to.  In the Fall, I will be adding even more to my plate.  In addition to an even earlier Haunt season (we start prep in August!) I have also registered to go back to school and finish my degree.  I am easing back in- taking one class I am dreading- Speech- and one I am really looking forward to-Stage Makeup- but it means that I will be in class from 4:15-5:30 and 6-7:15 on Mondays and Wednesdays on top of my regular schedule.  Then, we add back-to-school Rush at work and then haunt season and that means that from August to November I will be crazy busy.

As I sit here, at the beginning of May, Commencement is tomorrow, we start the first Summer Session Tuesday and after this week, things will settle down.  That means that it is the prime time to start making positive changes.  Step by step, if I get in some new good habits, I have time for them to become ingrained before things get crazy again.  First things first- I always, always get up at 4:30am.  The husband goes to work at 6.  I am hoping I can get him to get up a bit earlier so he can stay home with Fenway and I can take Auggie for a walk in the morning.  She tends to freak out a bit when he goes anywhere without her and she HATES the leash so I want Jim to hang out with her so she's fine while we are gone and Auggie and I can get a good walk in.  If not, I guess we will ease into our walks-start small and go a little further each time so she gets used to it.  Auggie will be thrilled- this I do know.  He loves his walks and won't mind the break from his over-enthusiastic little sister.  Next goal- dinner!

It's time that I stop getting so caught up in the day to day that I neglect myself in the process.  It's time that I start treating myself like I would someone that I care about.  it's time that I be good to myself.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Questions, questions...


I am subscribed to a newsletter for a planner that I bought last year.  At the end of the year, they sent me a questionnaire to help me reflect on 2016 and what changes I want to make for 2017.  The blog post can be found here if you want to take a peek.

Rather than doing all of them at once, I have been spending time thinking about each one as it applies to me. Today's question is:  What goals do I have regarding family, love and friends in 2017?

I have said it before and I will say it again- I am so, so very blessed to have the family that I do.  I have wonderful parents who model every day what a successful marriage is supposed to look like.  I have two lovely, successful biological sisters that I truly enjoy and a third who is a sister of our heart.  Each of them has provided me with smart, sweet nieces and nephews that, despite some not-so-great choices, are really good kids.  The same could be said of my son.  Smart, sweet and loving.  I am so proud of the man he's become and I love the family he's chosen to make his own.  By falling in love with Christina (who is a lovely, smart, strong woman in her own right) he is giving me two beautiful grandchildren.  Do you detect a theme about my family?  We are all very, very different women but we genuinely like one another and our family.  The glitch is that we are so spread out.  Indiana, California, North Carolina, New Hampshire and Oklahoma.  We are all over the country and that makes it hard.

My friends are much the same.  I have some terrific people in my life all over the country.  The problem is- connecting with them as they are everywhere and those that are here are all on different schedules.  It was much easier when you are in school and are together every day.  Now we are grown ups, with our own lives and our own things going on.  It makes staying close more difficult.

So my goal is to reach out.  There are some people who I really NEED to reach out and reconnect with because I miss them.  They aren't active on social media, so it will take a phone call or a card- but I am good at cards!  I am NOT good at birthdays and anniversaries so I send my grand-kids, nieces and nephews and some friends random cards throughout the year just to let them know I am thinking of them.  My goal is to add friends and other family members to the list and really make an effort to let them know when I am thinking about them.  I mean- who doesn't like to get mail that is not a bill?  Hopefully it will be a nice surprise.  I think it will be a positive for all of us and will remind me when I do the deed how grateful I am to have them in my life.


Sunday, January 1, 2017

Out With The Old/In With The New


OUT WITH THE OLD-

I discovered this year, my 49th in this world, that I just don't understand people at all.  Here are a few of the things I don't understand:

I don't understand berating strangers, in person or online.
I don't understand destroying property- not your own but especially that which belongs to others
I don't understand physically harming another person.
I don't understand when life became disposable.
I don't understand the inability to look beyond political parties to see what makes the whole of a person.
I don't understand name-calling.
I don't understand hate.  Period.

This year-2016- has been the most hate-filled of my memory.  I was born at the tail-end of the Civil Rights Era and I honestly feel we have regressed.  This year we have seen very vocal and very violent hate based on religion, gender, race, who you love, who you vote for, whether or not you believe in gun regulation, - pretty much anything you can imagine and I just don't get it.  Maybe that makes me naive, but I feel that it makes me happier than living with hate in my heart.  It's certainly more peaceful than being angry all of the time.

IN WITH THE NEW-

This year I have not made resolutions.  I have instead decided to adopt two keywords for 2017:

Kindness

And

Gratitude

If I can live with those two little words first and foremost in my heart for 2017.  It will be a stellar year.  

Happy New Year Friends...