Long post warning.
I am not a fan of change. You would think that after being a military brat for many years, and having had several disparate careers I would be used to change and used to starting over. I would argue that when I was a brat and we moved to a new location, we did it together as a family, and when I changed careers they not only mostly overlapped long enough for me to feel secure in the transition, but they were my choice.
This Summer I am facing a big change, not of my own volition. I have three choices- either I stay with my company and go to a new store, possibly stay at IU with a different company, or change careers entirely. I just started my 15th year at IU, and in March I reach my 19th anniversary with BNC. It kind of feels like those years of hard work and being a member of those communities are being stripped away.
Right now, I am sad and a little bit angry because while I am still ensconced in my store for a few more months, I feel like I have been set adrift in a row boat with out paddles.
I have told my Regional Manager that I am open to local opportunities. I don't want to uproot and sell our house and move again, especially since it's not just me in this equation and my other half moved half way across the country and set down roots for me 15 years ago. I am aware that there may not be a position that affords me the opportunity to stay where I am and stay with BNC which is 50% of my sadness.
Since I am also aware that the new book company taking the IU account may want to start with a clean slate and bring in their own manager, that leaves changing careers.
I will graduate in May with a General Studies degree from IU, with minors in Journalism, Public Relations, and Sociology. The ideal job for me would be in a position that would allow me to create content, managing social media, writing blog posts and curating content or something similar. Even more ideally, it would balance on site and remote work and to work for a solid company with a long-term outlook, that cares about their employees and treats them well.
On a side note- naturally salary will play a factor, as will benefits. If I change jobs I am losing the benefits that I have accrued over years of loyal service to my company and that will hurt.
The big question is- does that Unicorn job even exist? And does it exist here, in the Louisville area? I don't know. "I don't know" is my sticking point. Not knowing what comes next is what makes me feel so adrift and sad and mad all at once.
The thought of job hunting fuels my ulcer, because who enjoys interviewing? Who enjoys putting themselves out there and risking rejection? Is it any wonder that I am not a fan of change these days?
I am grateful that they gave us 6 months or so warning- but on the other hand, that's 6 months to stew over what's next as well. I am grieving the end of this partnership, and the loss of this community while I am still entrenched in it for the time being. (sigh)