Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Well, another birthday has come and gone.  It was kind of just "one of those days".  I didn't do anything special- I had a very long day at work.  My assistant is on her vacation this week and we began another Used Computer sale yesterday at work; which makes for a little crazy.  Normally I like to take my birthday off and reflect on the previous year and on what I want out of the next but it looks like I will have to reschedule this for some time in the next few weeks.  I had planned on starting a new series yesterday- lessons learned and all- but with my routine being thrown out the window for the last four weeks (including this one) my brain is fried and my energy is just sapped.  It took a miracle for me to be able to concentrate yesterday long enough to get a kick start on catching up on my work from last week.  My hope is to finish getting caught up this morning at work and then get the rest of my week planned. 

I probably would have included my weekend in this planning-I tend to spend a lot of them working when it's this time of year, but I will be jetting down to drop off two laptops (our computer sale included laptops for the first time this year) to my folks and get them set up for them.  It's my job- being the techie in my family.  It's kind of where I fit in, I guess, in the overall picture.  Hubby has to work so I will just be taking my Barkingtons with me so they can run in the yard and chase squirrels.  It's one of their favorite things and when they get home on Sunday they will be worn flat out just like me. 

Thinking about this I find it funny that I am so set in my routine.  So much of my life was all up in the air with a new "adventure" every night in the restaurant/nightclub business and having to literally live and die by my datebook and now when my routine gets thrown off it completely messes up everything from my sleep cycle to my productivity.  I don't know if that's a sign of getting settled down or getting older but it makes me shake my head. 

Speaking of productivity- I gave myself a new way to NOT be productive.  I gave myself an Ipad2 for my birthday.  I just LOVE the darned thing so far.  Just looking at it makes me itch to play with it.  It's the best toy I have had in a long time.  That said- I did download the BLOGGER app, so I will be testing it out later this week.  If that works well, I will be able to write as the ideas strike me which will be great thing since I have my  best thoughts and ruminations while I am on the go but once they are gone- it can be hard to get back on track.  Last week- for example- I read an article about someone coming out to their family and friends and it struck me that we, those of us who live with these chronic invisible illnesses, have our own closets that we are in and coming out can be a struggle both mentally and emotionally.  That idea sat in my brain all day just expanding and going in a bunch of different directions as I drove to Indianapolis.  Then I got caught up in my week and  it flew out the window until I was working on this piece this morning.  Needless to say, now that I have gotten it back (yay me!)  I will be writing on that later this week.  I am also working on my list for the Lessons Learned series.  I can't belive that time got so far away from me on that list.  I have about a dozen items there but obviously I need a lot more if I want to make it a good series. 

So that's were I sit.  Forty-four; physically feeling about sixty-four, in the middle of an RA/CFS fog, and waiting somewhat desperately for my routine to get back to my own and the fog to lift.  I have literally a dozen of my friend's blogs to catch up on and then there is this one and the new book project.  It's hard to write when I would just like to crawl back in bed and sleep for a week.  It's hard to respond with more than a "thinking of you" when I have a lot to say and it won't come out.  I get so scattered that I can't seem to get my thoughts straight long enough to write a good, well-focused piece.  I am thinking that Friday, after my infusion and after I get to my folks, I will take a nice long nap while the puppies play in the yard.  The only thing that would make it better is if I had a hammock. 

1 comment:

Pain Free...One Day said...

Happy belated Birthday! I so relate to the brain fog. I have a blog but it takes so much for me to be able to focus to write an entry. I often say to myself that I am going to write about xyz and then I can't track my thoughts or my wrists and fingers keep me from typing. Enough about my issues.

You bought yourself a great gift. Two of my friends have the 1st Ipad and I fell in love with. One day will invest in one. Hope it lives up to all of your expectations and makes writting an easier process for you.