Our own RA Guy made a video a while back of what living through a flare would be if it were a roller coaster. You can see it here. While you are there, take time to read through his other posts. They are incredibly insightful. I was thinking about that video this morning because I was thinking that every day living with RA is a series of ups and downs. Sometimes you can have weeks of "good" days- but even our good days have their low points.
For example; I have accepted that insomnia is just a part of my life. That's become a flat part of this ride. I get up in the morning (aka the middle of the night) and I have to use the hand rail to get down the stairs to start the coffee. It only takes an hour or so before I can go slowly back up- that's an up! On the flip side, the puppies like to go out first thing. I put them out but I try, as hard as I can, not to have to go outside. You see, we have a little cement/rock patio and my feet are so tender in the morning that just stepping on that patio feels like walking on shards of glass. Stepping out there is like zooming back down to the bottom. The whole day is rather like this. While I can celebrate the things I *can* do, there's always that little (and not so little) moment where the pain gives me a nudge or the exhaustion sets in that is that reality check. Up and down all day long. It's tiring just thinking about it. I think what tires me out most is knowing that this is a life long pattern. Oh- I might get more sleep, I might have a REALLY good day here or there but in the back of my mind is always the knowledge that it could change on a dime. I think that, for me, that is the hardest part, the never knowing when the other shoe will drop and a flare will hit me full force.
I am not dwelling about this, truly. I was just thinking this morning after walking back in with the pups and getting cranky about how tender my stupid feet are about that roller coaster video and what a great metaphor it is for life with RA, Fibro, Lupus, really ANY of the chronic illnesses. So here's what I say. Let's defy gravity and stay up all day long- to heck with the down part of this ride. Besides- from the top, we can see out over the world.