Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Road to Recovery

I have discovered that I am no longer a spring chicken.  I mean- I knew that I am growing older, I knew that my body is most definitely older but have always been the person who rarely gets sick and when I do, I ride it out; I don't let it get the best of me. 

The biopsy last Friday knocked me for a loop.  When I got home I felt like I had been kicked by a Derby horse-literally- in my ribs and shoulder.  Saturday was much of the same.  Sunday I got up and was moving around and trying to be "normal" but I was so tired that my biggest desire was for sleep.  Yesterday- I went back to work.  I made it to 1:30pm.  By then I was so tired that I was nauseated.  I came home, put the dogs out, while they were outside I changed into my pajamas and then the three of us crawled up into our bed and slept until Jim got home at quarter to 5.  The bruises are still there (it was a tough time getting my bloodwork and IV set) and they are tender; the shoulder throbs with any use; but that is minor compared to how bone tired I have been. 

I think that I was so focused on the biopsy itself that the whole nerve bundle to the shoulder thing took me by surprise and I let it throw me. I was expecting to hurt in the area of my liver. I didn't know where they would go in (I was guessing the front) but expected that to hurt. When I got out of the procedure and they wanted me to lay on my side but I couldn't get my shoulder into a position that didn't hurt- it made me want to cry. I became whiney and that really bothered me because that is NOT me.  

When I got up I started dinner and while the chicken was cooking I looked up liver biopsy on the Mayo Clinic site.  **On a side note- Mayoclinic.com is my go-to site for anything medical.  The only other site I use on a regular basis is that of the Cleveland Clinic.  There is something about WebMD and the other sites that I just don't trust- so that's my endorsement. **  According to Mayo- it could be a couple of weeks before my shoulder and ribs are "right" again.  Knowing this- and knowing that part of my lack of sleep is that I can't get comfortable at night because my muscles in my ribs twitch and my shoulder hurts- I resolved last night to power through.  I will go back to work today and I will do what it takes to make it work.  I am not going to let this kick my butt any longer.  When I am in the frame of mind where the exhaustion wins- I am not being positive.  I am determined to get back to that positive place.  The biopsy is over.  The results are in.  I got the call while I was sleeping yesterday afternoon and missed the office hours so I will call today.  I am pretty sure that everything will be fine and if it's not I will deal with it.  Either way- I will put this behind me and move on.  It has been first and foremost in my mind since March when it was first discussed and it's time to let it go.  


Anonymous said...

Aw, Jules, I hope you're feeling a lot more yourself soon. Have you gotten the results from the biopsy yet? Take good care of yourself, okay? Thinking of you ...

Jules said...

I am feeling much better- still tired but that goes with the RA and Fibro as well.

The diagnosis is- Methotrexate Hepatotoxicity. I will see my Rheumy tomorrow to discuss the treatment and update then.

Jo-Ann said...

If anybody can overcome this obstacle Jules, you can. You have such a powerfully positive spirit.

Take your time healing. Your body has been through an ordeal.

Sending positive thoughts your way.