Torn

Torn- that's how I am feeling this morning.  My work schedule is *supposed* to be from 10-7 today.  Yet here I am, sitting at my computer, just typed a to do list and ready to send it to my work email address, thinking that I really should go in because there is a lot that I need to do.  I have a feeling that I will end up going in at the normal time because we are in a tough place at work right now. 

My boss is effectively stepping down on Friday.  She has been out sick for several months and is physically unable to return.  We have been trying very hard to keep the store running on an even keel while she has been out but it hasn't been the same because we (my co-assistant manager and I) have very different management styles than our boss.  Our boss is very much about fostering a family feeling- sometimes to the detriment of the work.  I am all about getting the job done first and if we enjoy one another in the process it is a bonus- which means that at times I lose sight of the people.  My co-assistant is somewhere in the middle.  The good thing is that my co-assistant and I even one another out.  Things that make me crazy don't make her nuts.  Things that make her nuts- don't make me crazy at all.  That is what has made us be able to work so well together over the last two years.   

Now, until we know what will happen in terms of a new manager, we keep forging ahead.  We have sat with our full timers and talked through performance reviews.  It is always interesting to see how someone sees their own performance.  What was very interesting was that when we asked three simple questions:  1- what did you do exceptionally well this year, 2- what areas do you need to improve and 3- what goals should we set for the coming year- every single one of us (our reviews are now too and we had to write one anothers) went for the second went for the second question first.  Very telling- and very interesting.  Next is our budgeting process.  I am supposed to have a four day weekend but I will probably work on payroll budgeting for at least part of it. 

What I need to do is keep my eyes on the goals and not sweat the small stuff.  If I can do that- I will be able to let some of this tension and stress go and just get the job done.  Considering that I haven't slept well in several weeks- that would be something to be incredibly grateful for.