Arthritis Today and Life Lessons

     I am incredibly honored that Arthritis Today magazine chose me to be one of their Voices for the Arthritis Awareness Month issue.  The question they asked was: 

What Has Having Arthritis Taught You? 

   You can see my reply in the link above.  They gave us parameters but I could have gone on for days.   I never imagined that, on the fateful day that my LPN looked at me and said "We are going to run some tests but I am pretty sure that you have Rheumatoid Arthritis" that my life would change so significantly just as related to that statement.  It was like diving off of a cliff and hoping that I don't hit the reef.  Before my diagnosis I had never been cognizant of RA, even though I later found out that my Great Aunt lived a very long life with RA.  So, beyond my official reply, here are a few of the things I have learned.  

•  Body parts can permanently distort all on their own.  When I was diagnosed, I felt relatively "normal".  Now, I look down at my hands and my index fingers are rotating in toward my middle finger and my pinkies don't straighten and if I straighten my hands, the pinkies don't come in with the rest of the fingers any longer.  My feet are the opposite- my little toes and the next one are beginning to rotate out and the next is also bending inward.  I don't like the word "deform" but that's what's beginning to happen.  The positive part of the lesson is- it doesn't hurt, it just "is".  
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• One illness can become two-three-four or more.  It's been a very, very hard lesson to learn as I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, then Degenerative Disc Disease and then Rheumatoid Lung Disease.  I have been very open with the fact that beginning with DDD I started asking "What could possibly be next?" Each one has taken longer and  been harder to deal with, both mentally and emotionally.  The positive part of the lesson is- I did manage to wrap my head around them and continue to be productive even when I felt like just crawling in my bed for a while.   
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• Health insurance is a bear to navigate.  Prior to 2005 I only used my medical insurance for routine things like annual physicals and OBGYN visits or the occasional illness or accident.  After RA- well, insurance has been and continues to be a learning experience. Am I the only one who remembers when you went to the doctor or the hospital and received one bill?  Now the bills are endless as they come from the facility, the doctor, the lab etc.  At some point, I may just figure out the rhyme or reason, but by then it will probably change.  The positive part of the lesson is- I am still currently able to work to afford my health insurance and the co-pays and balances.  
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• There are all sorts of treatments we can try before we get to something drastic.  This is a HUGE positive. Though I have been resistant (okay, let's be honest-I've been downright pissy) about having to go the Pain Management  route, next week the doctor is going to either do Radiofrequency Ablation on my lower back or, if it's not viable, give me a big fat epidural.  One of these two should give me some relief from the relentless pain.  I would LOVE to have the whole summer without back pain.  That would let me work with Fen on leash training (she HATES walking on a leash) and take Auggie for walks as well.  I haven't been able to do that in a long time.  At the moment, around the cul de sac is about as far as we can go.  Epidural would last, possibly a few months.  RFA can last 6 months to a year.  How hopeful is THAT! Should I be one of those anomolies that the treatements for whom the treatments don't work, I think it will be time to start looking into holistic remedies.  I know that acupuncture works for a week or so.  Maybe I will check and see how much a package of treatments cost.  There's a float center being built as I type.  Josh says that floating is better than massage for relaxing the muscles and joints and I still have to gift certificates from Jim for Christmas to use.  Perhaps that's the way to go next?    

 That's just a few of the things I have learned but the biggest lesson of all is gratitude.  When I was diagnosed there was no way that I would have seen the positives in these lessons so easily.  Now, I actively look for it so that I can be grateful.  It helps me navigates the stresses, it keeps me from spiraling into depression and helps me get out of my head when I am feeling overwhelmed and it allows me to see how very blessed I am despite my difficulties.  I am the first to admit that I am still learning gratitude every day but I am working the journey as best I can and I can see what a difference it's made for me.  

Now I pose the question to  you- what have your difficulties- be it RA or another challenge- what have they taught you?  

Happy New Year! Welcome 2016.

It's been a very long time since I wrote on this blog.  It's been a long time since I wrote anything at all.  Looking back at 2015 I only wrote 22 posts all year.  I don't know for sure what it was.  Life getting in the way?  Lack of inspiration?  Lack of discipline?  I think it's deeper down than that.  I feel that I have been in a slump all around.  I have let "life" go by and let my stress and worries keep me from things I love, like writing.  I can't do that this year.  I want to make this a great year.  I want to make this a year of getting back to my quiet pursuits.  I want to find my balance.  So- I have made my resolutions:

     1-  I will take make time for my writing.

     2-  I will make time for reading as many books as possible.

     3-  I will take time to just sit and color.  Side note- if you are like me and artistically challenged- Adult                coloring books are amazing for relaxing!

     4-  I will take time to plan and prep my meals and cook from....semi-homemade.

     5-  I will use these things to manage the stress in my life so that I can get back to a place inside where I               can find my center and look to the bright side.

I have lost sight of that in 2015 and it's time to get back to it.  There's a quote going around by Brad Paisley.  It's my goal to live by it this year:

Here's wishing you and yours a wonderful 2016.  Let's make it a good one together!  

It's that time again.

    We should be heading into my busy season at work instead we are knee deep.  It used to be that we worked steadily through the summer and at the end of the summer BOOM.  Over the last few years, as my industry has evolved, the work has gotten more and more and more but with the state of the economy, payroll has gotten less and less and less. Top that off with more family things and rampant insomnia and that leads to me being one tired puppy. 

^^ Tired Puppies ^^



This week for example- I have three four hour sessions of training to give.  Two for my new temps and a refresher for the rehires.  Today I have to drive to Indianapolis for my review.  I am picking up a colleague along the way so I will be leaving home at 9:30, picking her up and driving north.  Her review is at 12, mine at 1:30 and we should be leaving Indy at 3.  Drop her off, then back to work until....whenever.  On top of that, we have well over a hundred web orders to pull, pack and process, a couple of pallets of books to shelve, 34 pages of rentals to sticker, and well over a hundred shelf tags to replace.  Much of this - hopefully- will be done by my staff - but they are also being bombarded by customers at the end of their summer term so yesterday, we got just over 30 web orders processed (and 75 new coming in on the site) none pulled, some of the books put away, one four hour training session complete, 3 or 4 "fires" extinguished and a lot of customers taken care of and a couple of "this needs to be done today" tasks completed.  Last Saturday I worked about 7-7.5 hours and Sunday I literally stayed in my pajamas until 2pm because I just couldn't function as I was so tired and so sore.  I don't want to spend- make that waste- an entire day every week in recovery mode.  It's not good for anyone. 

  It feels like the more we get done, the more there is to do.  Oh- and everything I need to get done this week has to be done by 2pm Friday because I am going to my folks this weekend for my Grandmother's 95th birthday and so that I can "tag team" the sermon with my dad this weekend at church.  He asked me to write up and deliver a 5-10 minute message in the midde of the sermon about Hope and the message in my book.  Which was sweet but plays with my nerves on a big level.    Next week we start selling books to the public and in less than 3 weeks school starts.  Just a few years ago the "busy time" was the week before, the first week of and the week after school starting;  now it stretches to just at 2 months of long hours and hard, hard work. 

It could be worse.  One of my best friend's school was recently converted to a new company and so she is having to re-do much of the work she already did while learning all new systems and procedures.  Just when I think I am at my breaking point- I think about her and what she is going through or we will talk and I will hear all the pressure she is under and I know that it is much worse on her end.  When I have doubts about whether I can take any more and that maybe it's time for a change I just think about her and I know that if she can hang in there, so can I. 

This all make me very grateful that I have gone on this journey to switch my thinking and attitude because I don't know that I would be able to switch this around had I not.  Now I just have to combat the "fog" and the tiredness and the distractability and power through. 

On a side note- my insurance has "dropped" Orencia from the preferred medications list.  That means that either my co-pay goes WAY up- or we find another medication.  Amusingly- the only thing they have on the list any longer is Enbrel and Humira.  That's going to be pretty tough if they only allow those in conjunction with MTX.  Just another little layer of stress but it's out of my hands and I am giving it up to the powers that be. 

The last side note is that I am going to try out a few of my apps on the ipad so that I can try to keep writing during this period.  I downloaded one called "Check it" to write down the thoughts and ideas as I go and then "Blogger Pro" so I can put together those ideas and post.  The only...issue is that I don't have wi-fi at the university so I have to see if I can write and stuff when I have my breaks and then post when I am home.  If you have any apps that you love- let me know so I can check them out! 

Mindfulness

"I admire the fact that the central core of Buddhist teaching involves mindfulness and loving kindness and compassion."

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience."

Psychology Today

Mindfulness is one of the strategies in finding peace that I am just not good at yet.  I am too busy multi-tasking to slow down and spend the time it takes to really be mindful.  In fact, since I started this post I have stopped to paint my nails, I am watching Breakout Kings, I searched the actor in the Motorola Xoom commercial (didn't find it), checked twitter several times, got dressed, did my hair (such as it is), went back and put on makeup, got something out for dinner and searched travel stuff for my husband and looked at empty lots on Trulia.  It's very hard to be in the moment when you are doing 14 things at once.  If you read my last post, I am very easily distracted.  In fact, if I weren't able to successfully manage the multi-tasking, I would suspect I had ADD.  In doing all of this I have "wasted" so much time that I only have about 10 minutes left before I have to head out to work for an orientation morning.  

Psychology Today describes practicing mindfulness as:

 Mindfulness, paying precise, nonjudgmental attention to the details of our experience as it arises and subsides, doesn't reject anything. Instead of struggling to get away from experiences we find difficult, we practice being able to be with them. Equally, we bring mindfulness to pleasant experiences as well. Perhaps surprisingly, many times we have a hard time staying simply present with happiness. We turn it into something more familiar, like worrying that it won't last or trying to keep it from fading away.

When we are mindful, we show up for our lives; we don't miss them in being distracted or in wishing for things to be different. Instead, if something needs to be changed we are present enough to understand what needs to be done. Being mindful is not a substitute for actually participating in our lives and taking care of our own and others' needs. In fact, the more mindful we are, the more skillful we can be in compassionate action.

Though they suggest that you begin by sitting quietly and pay attention to your body and your breath, one of the other suggestions is to start with a particular task to practice your mindfulness until you feel able to do it without bouncing all over the place.  For me, a good starting place would be with my dinner meal.  I tend to sit at my computer, fiddling around on Twitter or Facebook, watching television etc while I eat.  Next thing I know, the meal is gone and I don't feel like I ate at all.  My challenge to myself is - for the next week beginning tonight, I turn off the tv, walk away from my computer, sit at the table and really pay attention to my meal.  Pay attention to the flavors, pay attention to how I feel eating it and not let anything disturb me. 

What that means is that today, before I even think of eating my meal- I need to empty my table and create a nice space that is not filled with "stuff".  Our table- because we rarely use it- is somewhat of a dumping ground for groceries and is the place where I have all of my magazine and the "stuff" I need to rip them apart.  My recipe storage container is there, my folders, my scissors, a basket of magazines and a note pad if there is a website or idea that I need to get back to so I don't save the whole article.  We have a big bowl that has my apples in it, pieces of the steamer which needs to be stored and loaves of bread (his and hers-lol) as well as the storage containers that I routinely use to take my lunch to work.  SO- if I want to mindfully eat my meal- all of that stuff has to go.  I guess I will be decluttering this afternoon after we get back from lunch and the optomotrist.  Looks like this will be a productive Saturday if I want to be able to make this work. 

Have a happy Saturday! 

Ron Reagan

What's holding YOU back?

     As you know I have been on a big introspection kick of late.  Thinking a lot about my goals and dreams and how to reach the goals and how to re imagine my dreams to fit the curve balls life has thrown my way.  You already know about my goals for the controllable part of my health.  Did you know that when I was a kid I wanted to be a writer?  I didn't quite know what that meant but I imagined myself sitting at home clacking away on my typewriter creating stories like the ones that I loved to read.  I also wanted to be an actress.  I spent a lot of time, while reading those amazing books, imagining different ways that I could say the words on the page.  Being a military brat and moving all the time gives you ample opportunity to reinvent yourself and acting would give that opportunity on a regular basis. Inside I knew that acting was a very long shot so I kept going back to writing.   I imagined myself living in a city somewhere, just me and my pets, writing all day, eating dinner out every night, wearing designer duds and just plain being "fabulous".  Think Sex and the City from a teenage, 70's and 80's mind. Then life happened and I tucked those dreams away with my childhood. 

     Fast forward over 25 years and here we are.  I have been married for 25 years, raised a pretty terrific young man, worked hard, at times played equally hard, and have tried to live my life without regrets.  Are there things I would do differently?  Absolutely, but I only have one regret- and that is not making the move out here a)while I could have spent more time with my granny and b) the "child" were younger and would have had to come with us.  I have learned some very hard lessons along the way but they are just that- lessons that have shaped my life. 

     One thing I realized this weekend is that while I will never be 25 again and 45 is approaching faster than I would like, though I will never be Nora Roberts or James Patterson, Steven King or JK Rowling, I have written and published an article in my college magazine as well as my little e-book, I have written this blog for over two years now with no designs on stopping, and I have another e-book ruminating in my brain.  It looks like I have, while just doing something that I enjoy and without really thinking about it, fallen back into chasing that writing dream.  The only twist is that I have been working in the non-fiction arena rather than writing that Great American Novel.   

     While I was working through this goals and dreams thing this weekend I was wondering what it is that stalls my progress.  In terms of my goals, it would be easy to "blame" my RA and my Fibro for not exercising- but that would be a cop out.  Yes, my illnesses make it very hard for me to get out there and exercise like you see them work out on The Biggest Loser or Heavy, but that has nothing to do with my eating and it's sure as heck not stopping me from walking, from doing a yoga video at home, from "playing" on my Wii-fit.  It would be and has been easy to blame stress and the fact that my other half is a smoker for not quitting smoking but really- last time I was down to 1-2 cigarettes a day and vaping happily away on my electronics when I went back to smoking.  So what is stopping me?  What is holding me back from achieving my goals and really pursuing my dreams? 

     I think maybe part of it is the work.  I think about how much more work it takes for me to lose even a pound now that I am in my forties, much less the over 60 I would like to lose and it just makes me feel exhausted.  It makes me feel exhausted the way even thinking about spring cleaning makes me exhausted.  Confession- the best gift I could ever give myself would be to hire a housekeeper one day a week- I just plain SUCK at housework.  I think that maybe, despite the fact that when it comes to my job I am a workaholic, I expend all of my energy in that direction and have very little left for the rest of my life.   Our jobs are the way we support our family and for so many years it was such a struggle (even now it's not quite a cake walk) that I had to pour my energies into doing the best job possible to make sure that I kept that job and it's just become the way I work.  At one time, I gave myself time once a week for real "me" time (seeing my best friend/hair guru on alternating week from a mani/pedi).  At one time, I was on the go so much that I was easily clocking my 10,000 steps a day without having to work for it- it was part of working two crazy jobs on my feet constantly.  For a long time, working in the restaurant world, I had someone else to cook my meals when ever I worked who was a professional and could suggest great meals that were healthy as well and when I was home, the rug rat would eat healthy stuff as well as the "crap" that my hubby enjoys so I could cook whatever I wanted to suit us all and it would get eaten.   These days there is not too much "me" time- and I most assuredly don't have my standing vanity appointment.  I prefer to spend my time at home with my husband, my puppies and my parents whenever I can.  These days I alternate between 3000 steps and 13000 steps- depending on what's going on with my job.  These days, with only two of us eating- one who needs to lose weight and one who could stand to gain at least half of what I would like to lose; cooking a meal that could do both things is a trial.  All of these things that are going on these days are 100% my choice.  Where I direct my energies is my choice.  I just need to figure out how to  balance the old me and the new me and still be at peace.  For the most part I LIKE who I have become, I just have to find a way to fit in the work I need to do to reach my goals with the rest of my life.  I have to stop letting the excuses get in the way.  I have to stop letting that little voice bully me. I have to get past that little voice that reminds me that my illnesses are always there and if I do too much I could set it off.  When I do that- I am letting the RA and Fibro control part of my life and I have worked so hard to not let it be all that I am about that I have to break this last hold.

     As for my dreams, those are a bit more complicated.  The first thing that is holding me back is a bad case of the "what if's".  What if I am not good enough?  What if I start and just can't finish?  What if I don't deserve to reach my dream?  The second thing is that I am not quite sure how to rework this huge dream to fit where I am now in my life.  I will never be that picture that I had in my head when I was a young girl.  Then again, not many people are.  Writing is not quite as glamorous as I had imagined.  Okay- it's just a job like many others.  I have had a wonderful reality check, courtesy of social media, by interacting with one of my favorite authors M.R. Sellars.  Murv keeps it real.  He is from and still lives in the Midwest.  He loves his wife and child.  He talks about cooking and laundry, housework, deadlines and all of the things we all deal with every day.  He's funny, he's engaging,he's creative and he is just a "normal guy".   He just happens to write books that I really enjoy for a living.  Just "knowing" him has allowed me to see that I don't have to give up what I have if I want to chase that dream again, I just have to re imagine what that dream looks like and what I want that dream to be. 

     Ironically enough, I received my "Thought for Today" Oprah.com newsletter and the title of the newsletter today was "Who are You Meant To Be?"  Since I actually started this blog post yesterday and have an unexpected day off today, I sat down and opened this post, read through what I had written yesterday, minimized the window and opened my email to see that sitting in my inbox.  It was a sign for me that I am on the right path.  I haven't read the articles yet.  I didn't want to read them until after I finished this post because I didn't want them clouding my thoughts while I work through this.  This blog helps me get my thoughts in order.  For me it's like having a conversation with you so I have to focus in order to make myself understood rather than letting things swirl around the way they usually do in this brain of mine.  This blog has been a training ground for me.   It has allowed me to find my voice.  When I wrote Chronically Positive and in the new work (tentatively titled Chronic Living) I write exactly as I write here.  I write from my heart and I write as if we were just talking.  When I think back, when I tried to write fiction,  I had such a problem with whether I would write in first person, whether I would narrate or whether I could just tell a story.  Dialogue killed me.  It just wasn't good because I could not find my footing.  What a gift you have given me by engaging in this blog and helping me find the way I was meant to write.  Am I a genius, nope.  Am I the best writer in the world?  Not on your life.  Do have room for improvement- absolutely!  But I am learning and when a post strikes you enough to comment or to share it with others, you show me what works and for that I am always grateful. 

     So now I have figured out what it is that's holding me back.  I just have to find the strength to get over those obstacles and achieve all that I desire.  So what's holding YOU back from your goals and dreams?  If you have reached them, how did you do it?  Where did you pull the strength from that allowed you to reach for the stars?  My newsletter that I mentioned before begins with a quote and I leave you with the quote from today because I think it's so very appropriate:

“Only by owning who and what you are can you step into the fullness of life.”

                                                                                                           — Oprah

I think I am well on my way to owning it, and I am very much looking forward to stepping into the fullness of my life.  I cannot express how grateful I am for having this arena and for you being my sounding board.  No matter how often I post, I give thanks for this forum and that anyone actually reads it Every. Single. Day. 
 
 

 

    

Decisions, Decisions- Traveling with a Chronic Illness

We (the hubbs and I) have a trip back to New England that is coming up fast.  Because it is more cost effective, we are driving.  Now- I have to say- we love road trips and travel very well together.  That is not true for everyone.  You may love your mate dearly but when it comes to a road trip, come back ready to kill one another.  I have seen it first hand and it's not pretty.  Fortunately- we dodged that bullet because we are both pretty easy drivers and passengers when it comes to road trips.  The funny thing is- we even agree on things as simple as must have snacks (Paremsan Goldfish!) and how often to stop (every two hours) and who will drive when.  That said- would it have cost less to fly and rent a car, we would have gone that route; it just happens that we will be driving back during Massachusetts "Spring Break" week for the public schools so the airfares home were ridiculous. 

Our decision now is which vehicle to take.  We don't have to worry about the pups- they are staying with their grandparents for the week, so that is not an issue.  We had intended to take my Soul.  We renewed the Sirius subscription, I am having an oil change tomorrow, she's big enough that honey, who is 6'4" has plenty of leg room,  she only has 7500 miles on her and gets better gas mileage so it seemed like a no-brainer.  Then this horrific winter storm hit.  My Soul has Front Wheel Drive and traction control- but his X-Terra is a four-wheel drive.  Four Wheel Drive would be far better for us- less worry of getting stuck, less worry of traction issues and it's a nice truck.  On the down side, it has 175k miles and gets about 6-10 less mpg than my Soul.  That is significant when you are driving over a thousand miles each way and gas is over $3.00 a gallon- just over a hundred dollars significant.  When I think about driving through New York State in a snowstorm though- it's far easier to see doing that in the X-Terra.  At the moment we are waiting to see what happens weather wise but if we decide that the weather will warrent his truck over mine- we then have to get an oil change for him and prep his vehicle for the trip which is already done on mine.   In about 5 days we can start watching the "10 day forecast" for that area and see what the weather will be during our visit and then the talks will begin. 

That decision aside, there are things we have to do to prepare to travel to account for my Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibro issues.  We have done this trip before and last time we drove straight through- to say we learned some lessons is an understatement so I will share some of them with you here:

1. You MUST stop and stretch.  We always stop every couple of hours but we have learned to stop for a longer period of time so that I can really stretch and move my joints and muscles. 
2. It is very advisable to break up the trip.  Last time we drove the whole 17+ hours straight. Both ways.  I couldn't get out of bed for several days when we got back.   This time we will most likely drive 9 or so hours and then get a hotel for the evening and continue the rest of the trip rested and refreshed.  We know what chain we will be looking for and I have mapped out their locations along the way.  After dinner we will see where we are and I will contact the closest hotel to where we feel we will stop and go from there.  When it comes time to come home- we will do the same thing. 
3. Take your pill bottles.  I feel like I will be taking an extra suitcase because I get 3mos worth of the pills at a time- but really?  It's worth the aggravation rather than us having an issue should we get stopped for any reason and me having a half ton of pain meds and muscle relaxers and no proof they are mine.  While a note from your Rheumy is possibly sufficient but the original pill bottles are undeniable proof.
4. Travel doesn't have to throw your dietary habits out the window.  Though we will be eating most of our meals in restaurants so our choices will be better- we will be packing two small coolers (one for his soda and my water and one for food) and there will be food for both of us in there.  He will have his deli meat and sandwich bread, potato chips and whatnot and I will have prepared salad in a ziploc bag (so it doesn't take too much room) packages of tuna, jif-to-go, cut fruit and veggies and all the things I need to be able to eat healthfully while we are in the car.  Not only does it help me stick to my plan, but it's far less expensive than rest stop food.  When we get to our final destination, I will hit up a grocery store and get foods for our hotel room for breakfast and snacks.  I will also tuck a paring knife in out cooler so I can prep my fruit and veggies for the ride home. 
5. Check out the amenities for your hotel before you go.  The hotel we are staying in at our destination is a basic chain hotel (great rate because of the wedding we are attending) but they have an indoor pool and jacuzzi as well as a fitness room.  Knowing this (and despite me loathing bathing suits in public) I will bring my suit along and plan on spending some time in the jacuzzi to work out the road kinks and most definitely my workout clothes and use the treadmill. 
6. Make sure you schedule some down time.  It's often true what they say about needing a vacation from your vacation.  When you are traveling with a chronic illness it is imperative that you make time to rest.  If you just go-go-go trying to fit everything in and not rest you can cause a major setback for yourself.  In my case, the last time I caused a flare that really was not necessary.  This time I will rest when we get to the hotel, we will then go for our first visit and then most likely dinner and then back to do the jacuzzi and rest.  I will not push myself.  I am taking time for a little pampering- I have a hair appointment with my dear friend and long-time stylist.  A few people know we are coming and if we don't see everyone- it will be okay.  We will go to visit the family, the rest we will say "we will be at such and such place on Saturday, hope you can join us."  We are not pressuring ourselves to go here and there and everywhere.  We know that the wedding will be a long evening so I will be sure to work out that morning while hubby sleeps in and  nap a couple of hours before we have to go. 
7. Most importantly- have fun.  Don't stress yourself out- go with the flow.  I used to be all about the details and while I have lists and lists for my lists- I know that in the end, it will work out so I am not allowing any of this to stress me. 

I hope that you all have wonderful vacations coming up this year and that you can use these tips to make your next vacation smooth sailing. 

Pain and Fatigue Management on World Arthritis Day

Today is World Arthritis Day.  In honor of the event, I wanted to share a few of the ways that I manage my own pain that comes from RA and Fibro.  We all know that no matter what kind of pain meds we are given- it just doesn't completely knock out the pain.  That means we all have to find ways to manage the pain- and fatigue- and sharing tips is a great way to find things we hadn't thought of before, so here are mine:

Pain:

Heat, heat and more heat!
 
In the morning- while my coffee is brewing- I run moderately hot water and soak my hands in it.  This alleviates the stiffness and the pain enough to grab that coffee.

Wrapping my hands around the cup- not the handle- radiates the heat from the coffee right into my joints. 

Heating pads - of course- are my dearest friends on many, many evenings. 

I can't say enough about Thermacare.  I can wear them to work and have them working on me all day long.  And no- I don't stick to the body part listed on the box- they can be modified to whatever you need.  My particular favorites are the ones that they claim for "menstrual pain" because they will stick to the inside of your clothing and stay right at the place you need them.  I should have bought stock in them years ago.

Massage- if you can afford a professional massage- it makes a world of difference.  If you cannot afford a professional massage- look and see if there is a masssage therapy school in your area.  It would actually be great experience for the students to learn how to work with a chronic pain patient- the important thing is to speak to the instructors first so that they can oversee your care.  You also do not want to hesitate to speak up if something does not feel right when they are working on you- it's the only way for them to learn. 

Fatigue-

Obviously the first thing I have to say is- learn to listen to your body!  If your body says it's time to stop- STOP.  Pushing through will only make it worse.  I have to admit- I am the worst about this- but I am learning. 

I am a huge fan of naps.  If you have the time and it won't mess up your normal sleep cycle- just do it!

Take some quiet time every day.  You don't have to have a huge chunk of time- even 15 minutes just to sit quietly, maybe put on soft music, maybe lose yourself in a good book- but just sit in a chair and let yourself relax.  The most important thing is to stop thinking about your to-do list or your bills, your appointments or whatever else is pulling at you.  Let it go during your quiet time.  It will really refresh and rejeuvinate you!

Find something that will help you get out of "work" mode and into "bed" mode at night and make it a routine.  For me, it's not unusual to see me in pajamas very soon after I get home at night.  Changing my clothes into my comfortable pajamas makes the transition feel real.  I take my pups for a walk at between 7:30 and 8 every evening.  After that walk I either take a nice hot shower or have a hot cup of tea.  These things send a signal to my brain that the day is ending.  I find that when I don't do these things it is much, much harder for me to turn my brain off and when I get to sleep when I go to bed.


All of these things help me to manage my pain and fatigue- and I am always on the look out for new, non-medicated, ways that other use.  So if you have tips- please let me know!  I hope one of these is something that may help you as well. 

Positivity and Fear

I am almost afraid to type this blog.  I am almost afraid that I will jinx myself.    Here it goes.  I feel good.  I don't mean like a good day/bad day kind of good.  I mean like pre-Rheumatoid Arthritis good.  I should be celebrating, right? 

I waited- but it has been two weeks now that I have felt progressively better and better and for the last few days I have felt-dare I say it?- almost my old normal.  Yes- I have aches and pains, but those are almost all muscular.  The fibromylagia is, in fact, in full force right now.  This tells me two things.  The stress that I am dealing with right now did indeed trigger a fibro flare- and it did NOT trigger an RA flare (knock wood).  We have also had really weird weather- thirty degree swings each day and that has not triggered a flare.  That means I need to watch more closely to see what does trigger my next flare. 

That last sentence is the crux of my fear.  In as much as I feel good now, I also feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I am sure that any and all of us know that feeling.  It is very hard to get past that and just enjoy the lack of stiffness and swelling.  It also makes me afraid to overdo it.  I know what is around the corner and I dont' want to make it come back.  It makes it very hard to be positive about this turn when that dread is sitting in the back of my mind.

It's funny.  I have become so used to working through my "new normal" that I probably do more than I should to show myself that I can be viable and useful- and now that I am feeling so much better than that level- I have a great fear of doing anything that will compromise this. 

There are two quotes that I have found that I will use to get myself back on the positive track:
Dale Carnegie said:

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.

James Thurber said:

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.

I have to use this to remind me that the only thing that is stopping me from taking things day by day and from enjoying this is my own mind. I also need to let go of the focus on this fear and focus on being aware of what my body is telling me.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. I know I am going to try!

Finding Zen: Slowing down and enjoying life more.

I have a seperate file on my email for the different things in my life. RA related emails, Family, Zen Lifestyle and Diet and Exercise etc. I save different emails so that I can go back and read them when the time is right. This morning I found the perfect email for today and I wanted to share it with everyone:

The 10 Essential Rules for Slowing Down and Enjoying Life More

Slow down and enjoy life.
Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.
It’s an irony of our modern lives that while technology is continually invented that saves us time, we use that time to do more and more things, and so our lives are more fast-paced and hectic than ever.

Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.

A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy your mornings, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It means taking time to enjoy whatever you’re doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever you’re talking to or spending time with — instead of always being connected to a Blackberry or iPhone or laptop, instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitude of tasks and focusing on none of them.

Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here’s how to do it.

Yes, it's a bit of a tease- but I don't own the copyright so I am sending you to one of my favorite blogs Zen Habits to find out these 10 essential rules. I hope you enjoy the blog as much as I do. Personally, I can spend hours on the different articles and am very thankful that it is online so I don't have to take notes rather I can read it over and over.