Tuesday, August 23, 2011

For the first time ever, I caved

And I am really wrestling with it.  I would have normally worked until 5, 6, 7pm last night but I just couldn't.  I went home from work at 2pm.  The reason I am wrestling with it is that I feel horrible about leaving, but on the other hand, I DID do a 7 hour day.  I know I push myself too hard but it's that time of year.   

I also hate that this flare is affecting my work at all.  I have always tried to keep them as separate as possible but it just crept in on me this time.  Plus- I could have held out had I used my cane yesterday but with my arm hurting- that wasn't possible. 

Today, I am bracing my elbow, taking my naproxyn bottle with me and am using my cane.  I am just not ready to have my stupid illness beat me.  I am not, I am not, I am not.  I saw a friend yesterday- who is also hurting in a big way, and she was applying for her FMLA.  I just wanted to give her a hug but that would have hurt to much so we just stood there and commisserated for a bit.  I hate this for her- and it makes me more thankful that my workplace is a little more understanding. 

Oh well, all I can do is keep my chin up and press on.  I just keep telling myself that This Too Shall Pass....


Jan said...

Yes, it will pass. Caring thoughts for you and with you.

Anonymous said...

Yes there should realize the opportunity to RSS commentary, quite simply, CMS is another on the blog.

Wren said...

It seems to me that there's a big difference between "caving" and "taking care of yourself." After working seven full hours, dedicated and loyal to your job and your employer but in pain, finally stopping so you could go home and treat yourself gently and work on healing is absolutely NOT being weak and giving in.

Lene Andersen of A Seated View wrote a great post today about running out of energy. She started by mentioning the famous RA "spoons" and using them up carefully, but then asked, frankly, "and what happens when you run out?" I think we all know--we've all been there.

Please don't beat yourself up for being human. Take care of yourself. Rest. Don't wear yourself down until there's nothing left, my friend. The consequences are just too harsh.

Sending more warm hugs your way.