Sunday, March 20, 2016

Grumbling, Grumbling

It's almost 9am and I have already done enough grumbling this morning for a week.  First I was grumbling because Auggie woke me up FAR too early (considering that we were up late watching the tube last night) and then wanted in and out, in and out.  Some would say just leave him out- but I don't want him barking and waking the neighbors at 4-5-6-7 am on a Sunday. And he knows it- so as soon as he gets ready to come in he gives a single bark.

Then it was sorting my pills for the week.  It's not a huge deal- it's just tedious and my pill week starts on Sunday so before I can take them I have to sort them- plus it's shot week (I am on Actmera every other week) so that means paying that bill and I am almost out of Prilosec and have to pick that up along with another RX today.  I don't know about you, but I am rather over buying meds and having so many that they have to be sorted and life revolving around taking them.  RA. Fibro, DDD, RLD- somehow I think that with that laundry list, the med regimen won't be lessened very soon.

Then it was paying the bills.  You know, I know- they are a fact of life.  Today was the mortgage, car insurance, cable, cell bill, electric, gas, water, trash/sewer, etc.  It's almost soul crushing.  You work hard all month long and with one 20 minute session at the PC and with the checkbook- it's gone.

Lack of sleep, tedious and dreaded tasks to start the morning and it all culminated in:


Then- I got over myself.  I literally stopped dead in the kitchen from pulling my shot out of the fridge and said out loud "Oh ENOUGH already!"  I just don't want to let this go on and grow and ruin my Sunday.

So I came back into my office and made a plan.  I am going to finish my pot of coffee.  I am going to make my meal plan for the week.  I am going to take my shower.  I am going to go to the gym and hit the treadmill.  I am going to go get my manicure done and then go to the grocery.  Then I am going to come home, get my clothes ready for the week, fold some laundry  and start gathering the stuff that I need to pack for my trip to my annual meeting a week from Tuesday.  Then practice walking in my heels again before I get back in my jammies and snuggle in for my evening of Fairy Tales (Once Upon A Time) and Zombies (The Walking Dead/Talking Dead) and try to relax before another busy week.

I have to take this opportunity of today to take the things I was grouchy about this morning and turn them to gratitude.

  I am SO thankful that I have that silly dog.  He gives me so much joy and makes me laugh so often and knows when I am not doing well and will stay by my side endlessly until I feel better that I have to "excuse" the pain-in-the-butt moments.  I also have to be thankful that I am able to get up and down and up and down to let him in an out when he's wanting to run.

I have to remind myself that I am truly grateful that we have the medications that keep me able to be productive.  As much as I hate taking my pills and shots and stuff- I know, because I wait in pain for them to kick in every single morning, that without them my quality of life would be incredibly diminished.  I have to, have to, have to take them and be thankful that not only do I have them, but I can afford them.  Without them, I would not be able to work.  Without them, there would be more days than there are that I am not able to leave my bed, much less my house.  Without them, there would be no way that I would be heading to the gym in a bit to walk on the treadmill.

Finally I have to be grateful that I CAN work and pay those bills.  As often as I say "I just want to win the lottery and retire", until that happens, those bills that I was grumbling about paying this morning will come every month.  It's just a part of life.  I am grateful to have that mortgage, and that my parents helped to make that happen. I am grateful for the cars when for so many years we didn't have one and that we can afford the insurance that goes along with it.  I am grateful for the lights, the heat, the cable that keeps me entertained and more importantly connected to my family and friends across the country.  For the cell phones that are attached to our hands 24/7 and all of the other things I was paying the bills out for this morning as well as the silly things we don't NEED but spend our money on each week.

So that's that.  Change the perspective, change the direction of the day- and tomorrow wake up on the RIGHT side of the day.  :-)  


Boo said...

It is okay to grumble as long as it is put quickly back in perspective.

paul said...

yeah. i've had that happen, or something like that, then i make a plan and get moving. sometimes it helps me to turn off the lights and just focus for a minute, but i always get back to that same place. time to get moving. time to make food. time to clean up.