Taking a big step

Confession time: I am a smoker. I have been a smoker since I was....fourteen or fifteen years old. I actually think I started smoking about the year they put the warning on the side of the box. That is what? 28 or 29 years ago? I knew the health risks but as a teenager- I thought I knew it all. I thought I was invincible. *I* would never get addicted. Yet another example of how stupid teenagers are.

I have tried to quit a thousand times. I have tried the patches (which burned my skin), the gum (couldn't stomach the taste), Zyban (lasted 6 weeks but even my boss- who harrassed me to quit- was ready to hand me a cigarette I was so moody) and cold turkey. Nothing has stuck. Though I know it is not an "excuse"- but the difficulty of efforts have been compounded by the fact that my darling husband is also a smoker. Trying to quit smoking while your partner is smoking is, for me, so very, very hard.

I have been thinking and thinking about quitting again. Having tried to quit so many times I know that it is the actual action of smoking that I "miss" when I try to quit in addition to the nicotine withdrawl. So this time I am taking a novel approach for me. I have given myself a gift on the recommendation of a dear friend of mine. On Friday afternoon, I ordered an "electronic cigarette" kit. My friend tried these a few weeks ago and has not only not resumed smoking- but said that the one cigarette she picked up- made her dry heave. Now that is a deterrent!

Not actually cigarettes- these are personal vaporizers that are shaped like cigarettes. The action of "Vaping" is just like smoking. You inhale and the battery kicks on and activates an atomizer which creates a vapor. The vapor contains anywhere from a small amount to no nicotine (you choose the strength of the cartridge when you order) but no tar, carbon dioxide or any of the other chemicals in "analog" cigarettes. There is no smoke- the vapor is waterbased so there is no second hand dangers either. The cartridges come in everything from "regular cigarette" to cola to fruit flavors- so there doesn't have to be a cigarette smell either. What I have read on the "vaping" boards also tells me that the cost is less than half of what I have been paying for cigarettes (beyond the start up cost)and we know that that cost is significant. I am so excited to switch to these things. I am expecting my kit to come either this afternoon or tomorrow and I can't wait to get my batteries charging and toss away my cigarettes. I believe that this will help me wean myself off nicotine while not being enticed by my other half smoking. I ordered several different strengths and flavors to start with so that I can try them out and see what I like and what works for me. The nice thing is that I can step down as I please and my hope is that I can start by substituting half of my regular smoking with lower nicotine levels and go from there. I even ordered some yummy sounding flavors with no nicotine at all.

Cross your fingers for me- if this works- I will be smoke free in a matter of days!