Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Sometimes it's just too much

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."
- Mother Theresa

  • This time of year my calendar is packed.  I look at it each day to see where I am and I am overwhelmed.  

  • I am not- by ANY stretch of the imagination- a good housekeeper.  My poor mother probably wonders who raised me.  I look at all of the things that truly need to be done around here and I am overwhelmed.  

  • I have a million and five things that need to be done at work before school starts in just two weeks.  Just thinking about all of the little details makes me feel overwhelmed.  

The problem is not just that I am overwhelmed but the "side effects".  The brain doesn't stop which leads to little sleep which leads to exhaustion which leads to having to make choices as to what must be done (work stuff) and what gets pushed to the wayside (house stuff and snatches of sleep) which leads to more buildup in those put off areas which leads to being so overwhelmed that I don't even know where to recover. Phew!  

I kind of feel like I am a hamster in one of those Habitrail balls.  Rolling all over the place, but not getting anywhere and can't find a way out.  I have been thinking a lot about this because the end of my tunnel, the deadline to my madness is in October when my dearest friend comes back for her annual visit to The Ville.  

My big "failing", I feel, is at home.  What I could really use is two things:  I need a professional organizer to come in and force me to declutter and get things pared down at home and I need a housekeeper to do the "beyond the basics" stuff that I never seem to have the time/feel up to/ never feel like I get it right/ stuff that people that are good at that kind of thing seem to find so easy. It would take a real load off of my mind.  Unfortunately- that professional organizer and housekeeper will be me (with help from the hubby who is also exhausted and not a neatnik) over the next few weeks. The hard parts- finding the energy and motivation to get moving after very long days at work.  

   I really feel that if I could find the way to pare back, to simplify my life, to get into a livable routine; I could take that deep breath that I need to get through the rest.  I will take any and all suggestions. Goodness knows that I will take any help I can get. So here are my questions to you:  How do you find that extra energy and motivation to get done all that needs to be done?  How do you decide what to let go in order to simplify and minimize your "stuff"? 


Miss Dazey said...

Declutter is a dirty word.

No such things as perfect people.

"know-it-all" motivational gurus can't actually "do".

Can't advise on finding extra energy, because I'm looking for that myself.

Lastly, I think you do a great job of being you and that's what is most important.

Susan said...

years ago, I read the FlyLady's book, and her approach helped me, when I was sick & tired and didn't know what was wrong. Now she has a web site and a facebook page & probably more.

Take a look, she may have words of wisdom for you:

I second what Miss Dazey said - the mess will still be there next week, next month, next year - do what you can and forget the rest!

Tami LS said...

We are always so hard on ourselves! Yet, we are also the one who seems to care the most if things do or don't get done. Ask yourself, would you would be so harsh with someone you love if they couldn't "do it all", especially if they were not feeling well?

I think that I have learned to become more tolerant and forgiving of others (and myself) while learning to let go of what I thought was important (clean house)and embrace what really is (relationships). I know my energy is at a premium, so I try to spend it wisely. Only I know about the dust bunnies under the bed! Spending quality time with my hubby is more important than a clean room, and by improving my relationship with him, we tend to work together more often. Of course, it doesn't always work. When that fails, I send him out to play (or whatever) while I blow off steam and my tantrum!!

You decide what is most important, make your list and prioritize it. Then, chip away when you can. Put your mental "blinders" on and try to look past it. When all else fails, let it go and forgive yourself.

I think we all have to continually remind ourselves we are not the same people we once were; we are just different---but not less of the person than we were before we got sick. Maybe that part of who we are didn't change, or, maybe we have even improved with wisdom, time and grace.

Marianna Paulson said...

The same way in which you rip up a phone book (remember those things? LOL!) - page by page.

I, too, have been afflicted by the things you talk about.

The extra energy bit comes with pacing, or rather balancing the nervous system, which then helps quiet those looping thoughts so you can get some good quality sleep.

Congratulations on receiving this award, Julie: http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-rheumatoid-arthritis-blogs#13. It's well deserved!

Julie Faulds said...

Thank you ladies! It's good to know that I am not alone. These are some wise words you have shared. I know that I am much harder on myself than my other half will ever be- and that generally leads me to the point that I am sitting in now.

Susan- I am acquainted with Flylady. I get their emails. They tend to sit in my inbox until I go on a spree-lol. It can be intimidating when you have an hour to breathe to look at those lists. but they DO help give me a starting point. :-)