Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Who are you really?

This past weekend I went and got my hair colored.  It's fairly dramatic.  I went a few shades darker all over with pretty blonde highlights sprinkled throughout.  I have been thinking of doing this for a long time but fear of any hairdresser not being MY hairdresser (I miss my Jody!) has held me back.  Finally I decided that; to heck with it- if I didn't like it, there are a thousand boxes at the local Target that I could throw on there and change it up again.  When Krista (the stylist) turned me around in my chair at the end of the appointment I just sighed and smiled.  It was exactly what I had envisioned. It looks like, well, what I have felt like for quite some time.  It just feels right.  After years of varying shades of blonde- which was perfect for that time in my life, this now feels like me.  Do you know that feeling?

My slight transformation started me thinking about the changes I have made in my life to get to this "new" place.  Gradual changes made over the years have brought me to a new place far more than contracting (do you really contract these illnesses?) Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia.  The conclusion that I have come to is that I have reached a place where, while of course the daily nagging pain and the stiffness that creeps in while I am sedentary (not to mention the pill collection O_o) are reminders that I have these illnesses, I think about it it far less than I have in years before.  I have finally, again gradually, reached the point that RA and Fibro are just a background factor like the color of my eyes or my distinct lack of height.  They are things that I cannot change, they just "are".  I have often said over the years since I got past the initial diagnosis that these illnesses are just a part of the overall me- but now I feel like they have truly taken a back seat to the rest of my life.

My point?  Well, I am not "the woman with RA".  There is so much more to me.

I am Josh's Mom.
I am Harley and Auggie's Mom.
I am Jim's wife.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am a friend.

I am a hard worker
I am loyal
I am dependable
I am honest
I am loving

I like reality tv
I like scary movies
I like magazines

I love books
I love cooking
I love the hot days
I love spending time with family
I love to write
I love naps

I dream of traveling around the world.
I dream of breaking the NY Times 100 bestsellers
I dream of having a housekeeper
I dream of doing the million things I would like to do (yoga classes, volunteering, giving big gifts to my 5 favorite causes, learning to meditate and more)
I dream of going to school perpetually
I dream of winning the lottery to finance my dreams

I am interested in self improvement
I am interested in the Paranormal (specifically Ghosts- not cryptozoology)
I am interested in crafts
I am interested in DIY projects
I am interested in trying new things

I do not like house work (see the dreams above).
I do not like extreme heights.
I do not like spiders
I do not like ignorance or bigotry
I do not like traffic or waiting in lines

See- there is far more to me than my illnesses.  How about you?  Putting aside your challenges- who are you really?

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