Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Making a change

In the last bunch of days I have been giving myself the gift of a self-imposed mini-break from the internet.  I haven't been away completely; I have been on in the mornings but in the evening, as soon as dinner is ready I have been joining my other half in the living room and spending the evening with him and the pups.  It started without me really even realizing what I was doing.  We have very few shows that we watch together.  Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen and Master Chef, The Great Food Truck Race, Survivor-and a few sitcoms as well.  If you look at our DVRs, mine is more hour-long dramas and what he likes to call my "chick shows" (ie- Project Runway) while his is documentaries, sitcoms, comedy specials and stuff like that.

 After 25 years (28 if you are counting when we started dating), we have developed very big differences in our tastes.  We don't necessarily agree on movies, television shows, food or even what to do on the weekend.  Even though we do so very much together- heck, we rarely even go to the store alone; when we are at home together in the evenings we have fallen into the pattern of me in my "office" area, him in the living room.  He is watching his shows, more likely playing his Playstation 3 while I watch my shows and play around online.  It was as if we were in entirely separate places even though we are less than 10 yards apart.  For me it was time for me to relax my joints and muscles and let the day wash off of me, for him it was time to relax and de-stress after long days.  We would each eat dinner in our respective areas and then come back together to walk the pups.  Once we got home, it was go back to the way things were before we left until it was time for bed then we would talk.

The change started at the beginning of the summer while the Ramsay shows were on.  He would tape them and then we would watch them the next night while ate dinner.  During commercials we would talk about our day, we would walk the pups and then watch the next episode.  It was a nice change of pace for both of us so gradually I started joining him in the living room for dinner and just staying out there once we got back from the walk.  It was natural. Don't get me wrong- there are nights that we separate so we can each watch something the other is not interested in but for the most part- it has been nice.  I still don't talk too much about how I am feeling physically- I just don't want to gripe every night, but he can see when I get up to walk to the kitchen or the shower what the hot spots are.  I never would have anticipated this.  I know that sounds silly, I mean we ARE married and we ARE still pretty crazy about one another but when you spend every waking hour together other than work- it's natural to want a little time to yourself.  I think we just took our solitude and made it a habit.

 Fortunately- this is one of those habits that is easier to break than most.  All it took was me stepping away from my office area and him watching shows we both enjoy rather than playing video games.  Now we each get time when we first get home to chill out and after dinner we get to spend time together.    I still have my iPad when I want to play online and he has his pc next to his chair so he can play games on there while we sit there together.  I put this all out there so that if we are friends on Facebook or Twitter and you think I have disappeared- I am still here, just at a much smaller amount of time.  

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