2018 was a real roller-coaster. As I sat there on New Year's Eve reflecting on the past 365 days, I realized just how up and down it went. If I needed further confirmation, it was the dozen or so posts that I had sitting as drafts that I deleted to clean up my year. 2018 also seemed to fly by like a Supertrain bound from Boston to New York. I cannot believe we are already in a new year.
I waited a day in order to give myself time to really think about all of this- and fortunately I had all of yesterday to make notes at my leisure as I sent the husband up to South Bend for the NHL Winter Classic. He's a HUGE Boston Bruins fan and I got him a ticket for his birthday. He went solo because Hockey is not my thing and it's not a huge sport out this way. He was very content to make the 4.5 hour (each way) drive in order to see his favorite team in Notre Dame stadium and I was content to stay home with the pups and set my desks up for next semester, get a little housework done and pamper myself at my leisure.
In reflection- here is what I realized. In 2018, I allowed myself to get so caught up in school, work, and more emerging health issues that I lost time with some important things. I didn't spend enough time with my parents, my only writing was for school and rather than fight my illnesses, I just let them wash over me and take me directly into a pity party. When I am in the throes of that mindset, I withdraw and "deal with it" (without dealing with it) solo because the only pity I want is my own. Silly isn't it? It takes something jarring to pull me out of my own head and thankfully, the end of the year did the trick. That said, I did have some real highlights in visiting Josh and his family for a week, and yet another fun haunt season.
In looking forward to 2019, I am not making resolutions. Everyone knows we don't make it 6 weeks with resolutions so instead I am setting goals.
1- I will address the new issue of a big old ulcer and the resulting anemia head on. This means diet and taking the yukky medication as directed- no matter how hard it is.
2- I will do my best to schedule my school work in a manageable schedule. I have three classes in Spring and more than likely 2 in Fall and I will not procrastinate the homework but schedule time within my day to complete it without being overwhelmed.
3- To that end, I will work to achieve a work-life balance that includes time for self-care in addition to downtime to rest and recharge. These are things I am not always good at even though I know they are beneficial to both mind and body.
4. I will make it a point to spend more time with my family- be it Jim and the pups or my parents. None of us will be around forever and we need to enjoy the time we have. I also know I have a week with the entire family in June and I will savor it.
5. I am going to take 30 minutes a day for reflection and devotion. I have my early mornings that I am essentially listening to the tube and playing games while my body catches up with my mind waking up and it will be easy enough to "schedule in" 30 minutes. I will either meditate, write here, write in my journal or my "52 Lists for Happiness" workbook- anything to help get my head on straight to be able to start the day with a clear mind.
One "tradition" that I have been considering that I am going to incorporate into this year is a focus word but you know me- I can't just ease into anything so I chose two. My two words for 2019 are:
To practice Gratitude, I am going to start by the simple act of saying "Thank You" to those who matter. To practice kindness, I am going to begin by really listening and thinking before I speak; measuring my thoughts and reframing with kindness before I reply. As someone who can be very blunt and sarcastic- that will be the toughest beginning but I am going to commit to it.
On that note- Thank YOU- for your support for all of these years and for taking time out of your day to read this blog. I appreciate your comments here and on Twitter and that you've stuck with me through the tough times and the good times. I hope your 2019 is truly blessed.