Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Okay Friends~ I need you!

   Hi Friends~

     As you know, I have a LOT going on in my life at this time of year.  The RA is still acting up, work is crazy and only getting crazier- the usual for my late July/all of August life.  As I mentioned last post, we are also in the process of trying to buy a house.  If we cannot do that, we will need to consider moving to a single level apartment.  Needless to say- my stress level is through the roof.

     Now- I am sure that it will change later this week a little when we meet with the mortgage broker to see if we qualify.  I am honestly prepared for either answer- I just need to know.  Waiting has never been my strong suit and medical test after medical test, diagnosis after diagnosis has made that worse if anything.  But either way- there will be more changes.

      Stress is manifesting itself in hives.  Itchy, itchy hives.  This happened last year too so medically I am prepared to treat it (Benadryl at night, Claritin or Zyrtec during the day and lots of oatmeal baths) so that's a good thing.

     What I need from you are your best ideas and tips.  How do you combat stress?  What do you do to relax?  Send me all of your ideas, good, bad, sane, crazy- I am entertaining all options!

Thanks in advance! 


Wren said...

Oh, Jules--you DO have a lot on your plate! I'm so sorry to hear that your RD is causing so many problems for you, but I'm glad you're being proactive about trying to deal with them.

Moving to a home without those stairs is really wise. Until last Sept., Mom and I were living in her condo. It had about the same number of stairs that you're living with now. She was getting increasingly wobbly on her feet, and coming downstairs first thing in the morning with my RD feet and knees was always a little scary. I was just waiting for one of us--probably Mom--to put a foot down wrong and go tumbling top over tip to the bottom.

She sold her condo and we moved into a single-story apartment. Honestly, this is SO much better, Jules. Not only are we not risking a fall up or down stairs every day, several times a day, the monthly expenses are so much less. Her utility bills are a lot lower, she doesn't have an homeowner's association fee to pay every month, and the incidental costs of homeownership are gone entirely.

That last is a biggie. Mr. Wren and I own our home up in the mountains, and it seems like there's always something that goes wrong and needs repair. It never happens when we've got a little extra set aside for it, so fixing things always cuts into our budget sharply. But there's no choice--things have to be repaired. General upkeep--lawnmowing, window cleaning, yardwork--is all up to you, too, if you own. With your RD, that'll be tough. And with both of you working full time, it will use up a lot of your off-time, which you need for rest.

After having lived here in the apartment with Mom for close to a year, now, I think I like apartment living much better than owning a home. Our neighbors here are quiet and friendly, the complex is well kept, and we feel safe. And all those extra expenses (for Mom, anyway) are a thing of the past. Oh--and did I mention housework? It's easier here, too.

The money you'll save by renting will be nice for vacations and other treats, too!

I guess I'm trying to talk you out of buying a house. You have so much going on physically, Jules, and your work schedule is so demanding, that it just seems to me if you're stressed now, you haven't seen nothin' yet. It may only get worse in the future if you buy a home. And there's nothing at all wrong with renting, you know?

As for coping with your stress now? Other than giving yourself adequate down-time, mindfulness, and meditation when you can, I don't have any new suggestions. Just the old tried-and-trues: warm/cool baths with a glass of wine and candles (bubbles if you want); snuggling with your sweet dogs and hubby; a nice walk when your feet will let you; reading a good book or watching a good movie, and laughing as often as possible. They're all guaranteed stress-busters.

Sweet lady, if your pre-approval comes through and you decide to buy, I hope you'll find the perfect place without a long, frustrating search, and that everything else--the loan, escrow, etc. all go smoothly and without a hitch. There are joys to home ownership too, don't get me wrong. I love my little house up the mountain. But it comes with a price that it gets harder to pay the older I get, and the more my RD cuts into my life.

Hang in there, dearie. Remember to breathe. You're a wonderful, nice, caring, and loving person, and I want you to be as healthy and happy as it's possible to be.

Keep us posted, eh? Sending you a warm hug and nothing but good wishes,

adrienne said...

Hi, I agree with Wren about the house. There are days I wish I was back in my little apartment where I just picked up the phone when something went wrong like the plumbing and it got fixed. Owning a house is SO much bigger than I thought. It just never ends. I watched a Suze Orman show the other day and there was a woman who wanted to rent and her mother wanted her to buy a house. After hearing about the woman's life, Suze agreed that renting is the better option. Please buy if that is your dream but have your eyes open.

How do I release stress? I get in my convertible and turn up the music and drive!!! The air in my hair and the music in my ears clears my head.


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Louise Cann said...

I enjoy your blog as well,and have been reading but not commenting as my arthritis makes it too painful.Lately though I've been better.I hope you got your house.Owning a home is expensive in some ways but the benefits far outweigh them.I owned my own home that was a hud home I lovingly repaired before my RA was unmanageable,and I must confess,that was the happiest time in my ENTIRE life.Knowing it's yours.Knowing a landlord or family member can't arbitrarily take your 'nesting place'.Having a place for your fur babies and possessions as well as other loved ones....there's absolutely NO substitute.Being able to take in that stray kitty or even that stray human without pleading others to see it your way gives much comfort to the heart and soul.It YOUR refuge,YOUR nest,YOUR world.I speak for myself when I say that having RA,and it taking most everything I love makes me feel worthless to everyone and so insecure.BUT having THE security of a place of my own does wonders for the soul and allows me to be free to be creative,have my kitties and my hobbies around and not offending,and being warm in my own bed knowing I'll be in the same bed tomorrow is a great feeling bar none.
My home that I loved burned down and took some of my kitties. With it went all I spoke of.But one day I'll do it again and I still feel it's very important for a RA sufferer to be secure as it does affect the disease.God bless you on your journey.

karen said...

I meditate to mindfulness meditation on my ipod.